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Band 7

The crime rate in teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries in recent years. What are the causes, and what are the solutions?

#crime #rate #teenagers #countries #years
In recent years, the engagement of
teenagers
 in crimes and robberies has substantially grown. There are several factors that contribute to
this
 issue,
however
, there are some solutions to address
this
 crisis. In the following paragraphs, causes will be expanded, and
also
 the possible solutions available to prevent the problem.
To begin
 with, poverty is the main reason accelerating
this
 issue. Undoubtedly, there are families whose low income does not allow them to send their offspring to school and college. As many lessons, communication skills, and social values are being taught in these institutions, poor people are almost deprived of these educations, resulting in not being able to develop a humble career for themselves.
Consequently
, many
teenagers
 are forced to do illegal activities to make ends meet.
Furthermore
, the effects of social media can not be ignored. These platforms are continually advertising positive and negative concepts on their pages and
teenagers
 are exposed to these concepts, resulting in easily getting affected and copycatting illegal actions without being aware of the consequences.
Nonetheless
, possible solutions are available regarding
this
 issue.
Firstly
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can increase education accessibility by making schools free of charge in poor areas, so people with low income would be able to benefit from educational institutions.
Secondly
, by imposing restrictive regulations on social media platforms, juveniles are less exposed to these harmful environments and can be monitored.
Overall
, the prevalence of crimes in which
teenagers
 are involved has definitely some causes
such
 as poverty and virtual platforms effects. To mitigate the problem, authorities should plan to allocate educational budgets to poor families,
along with
 imposing laws and regulations on social media and carefully monitoring them.
Submitted by Reza Moravej on

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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, ensure that you provide more detailed and elaborated examples to support your causes and solutions for the issue being discussed. Including statistics, case studies, or reports could add depth and relevance to your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Although your essay structure is clear, you could boost your Coherence and Cohesion by using a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing techniques. Aim to use a mix of complex sentences, along with varied linking words to create a more seamless flow between ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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