Topic: some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#topic #people #life #money

It is believed that

money

plays a crucial part in making

people

cheerful but I would not support it. In my view, other factors can make life joyful.

This

essay will discuss

above

Correct article usage

the above

show examples

question and introduce the other reasons for being euphoric. On the one hand, in the materialistic world

money

talks and

necessities

Correct article usage

the necessities

show examples

of life

such

as clothing, housing, food, education and so on are fulfilled by

money

Furthermore

, it brings power, respect and reputation.

For instance

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

affluent

people

can

afford

Add the particle

toafford

show examples

buy a luxurious house,

travelling

Wrong verb form

travel

show examples

worldwide,

set

Correct word choice

and set

show examples

off a thriving business

thus

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

experiences a sense of well-being and considerably benefit from social welfare.

In addition

, in their opinion, the levels of happiness and

Fix the agreement mistake

satisfaction

show examples

satisfactions

Correct your spelling

satisfaction

show examples

are always associated with wealth. Actually,

people

are evaluated by their possessions and assets.

On the other hand

, other criteria for assessing the delight of

people

should be considered

such

as having

Add an article

a close

show examples

friend

Fix the agreement mistake

friends

show examples

and sympathy family, having

Remove the article

apply

show examples

excellent health, a rewarding job, security in life, peace of mind. from my

Correct your spelling

standpoint

show examples

stand point

Correct your spelling

standpoint

show examples

, A vivid example of

this

issue is that owner of a magnificent villa or someone who is always have an eye on the

last

trend of clothes and state of the art car is more likely to

facing

Change the form of the verb

face

show examples

a degree of loneliness and isolation due to having no families or relatives to share the feeling or memorable moments with them.

Moreover

, it is possible that a loaded person who lives alone and is suffering from an incurable illness or in a predicament, not only

Add a missing verb

does he

show examples

has

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

no one to help and sympathize with him but

also

his

money

is useless and cannot do something for him. In conclusion, in my eyes, despite wealth

give

Wrong verb form

giving

show examples

you

feeling

Correct article usage

a feeling

show examples

of security and worth and human being nature have

tendency

Add an article

a tendency

the tendency

show examples

to spend stacks of

money

for

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fleeting pleasure, but form

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

strong relationship with families and friends, having good health and peace of

mine

Correct your spelling

mind

show examples

are more worthwhile.

Submitted by shima.dehdasht on Wed Apr 06 2022

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

326 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic: some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Your opinion

The rise of social media affected personal relationships ad society as a whole. Do the advantage of using socail media for communicatin outweigh the disadvantage?

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?