IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many people are copying celebrities from magazines and on TV. Why this happening? Do you think it’s a good idea to copy celebrities?

#people #celebrities #magazines #tv #it’s #idea #copy
It is hard to deny that in today's society where we live the majority of individuals especially the young generation is imitating superstars from the mass media. Certain reasons for why
this
 is happening around us and the detrimental impacts of
this
 trend will be enlightened in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, these days adolescents are copying celebrities due to some factors. Fame and the unique
appearance
 of renowned people are pushing factors for teens as they are more prone to be influenced. In order to beautify themselves and to attract others, teenagers follow to wear brand clothes, jewellery or hairstyles which are used by celebrities.
Furthermore
, the luxurious lifestyles of famous figures
also
 attract the attention of the youth which in turn, urges them to spend a larger amount of money on organising parties
such
 as birthdays and weddings in a luxurious way.
Therefore
, the aforementioned reasons for why imitation of superstars among teenagers should not be ignored.
However
, there are several negative influences of
this
 trend that should be into consideration.
Firstly
, the young generation is spending a great deal of money on expensive garments, jewellery, hairstyle, make-up and aesthetic operations.
As a result
, all spending is causing a lack of money for their essential daily items which is resulting in stress-related issues including a sense of frustration, depression or even suicide of them.
Moreover
, they are putting their life under threat because of experiencing a range of cosmetic procedures. Unfortunately, some of them are not successful to achieve their desired
appearance
 and are losing their real beauty
accordingly
 which is another cause of suicide among teenagers. One girl from Iran,
for instance
, experienced countless operations for being similar to Angelina Jolie but,
instead
 her
appearance
 is turned into one of the scary vampires. In fact, her
appearance
 was quite beautiful until these operations.
Thus
, I do not support the way that the young generation imitates prominent people as there are negative consequences behind
this
. In conclusion, sparkling fame, attractive
appearance
 and the luxurious lifestyle of celebrities are the main stimulators for youth to copy them which has negative impacts on both the psychology and finance of the youth.
Submitted by nodirbekmsh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: