Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Although
,it is often argued by some individuals that good
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
extremely good with persuading
people
to buy with the help of advertisement while some
person's
Change the noun form
people
person
show examples
have the opinion that we should not pay attention to it because it is very rampant.
This
essay will discuss both sides of view in the following paragraphs but in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
I believe that it is essential to advertise because of several reasons. On the one hand,there are numerous rationales why publicity is very crucial in our everyday life.
Firstly
,it promotes
business
and attracts consumers.With adequate and good publicity individuals tends to know more about the company and
therefore
allowing
Wrong verb form
allow
show examples
customers to patronize them.
Secondly
,it builds up the fame of the organization.As far as,there is good pro traying of
business
,the company will be well known by lots of
people
.
Thirdly
,it creates trust
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society because when a firm portrays
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
work which attracted
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
consumers,
people
tends
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tend
show examples
to put all their trust
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the product.
For instance
,the richest man in the whole world was interviewed and was asked
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
secret of his
business
.He said that if not because of showcasing his
business
,he would not have made it
this
far.
Therefore
,showcasing
goods
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
very important.
Conversely
,not everybody can advertise their
products
because of several reasons.
Firstly
,it reduces
cost effectiveness
Add a hyphen
cost-effectiveness
show examples
and for that reason publicizing
products
requires
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of money as well as it is not for poor
people
.
Secondly
,it encourages
sale
Add an article
the sale
show examples
of inferior
products
.An individual
that
Correct word choice
who
show examples
sales
Replace the word
sells
show examples
poor
goods
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not need to be
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
show casing
Correct your spelling
showcasing
show examples
it. So it gives rooms for below standard
people
.
For example
, researchers have reviewed that the cost of advertising
goods
was the major reason why poor
people
cannot participate in publicity.
Therefore
,if the government and affluent personal can come together and help the needy ones in the establishment of their
products
,it will be good. In conclusion,I firmly believed that portraying
goods
is very essential because it builds up
business
and draws consumers closely and it equally
build
Change the verb form
builds
show examples
up fame.
Submitted by agozie2018 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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