Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. Do you agree or disagree?

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many people argue that contemporary society makes people
being
Verb problem
apply
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busier than in the past leading to
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
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don`t
Verb problem
not
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have
Wrong verb form
having
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much time for their kids ,
whereas
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others suppose children get less attention
for
Change preposition
from
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their
parents
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, I believe that
parents
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still spend as much as
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
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occasion on their kids.
To begin
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with, I agree with the first part of
this
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statement that with the faster pace of the world , the workforce is changing
that
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and
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people should adapt to a whole new workflow .
For example
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, gender equality has gotten stronger which means women increasingly play a crucial role in the community.
Moreover
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, because of the pressure of life
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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that
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apply
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both
parents
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have to work out to pay for expensive living costs and the basic
demand
Fix the agreement mistake
demands
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of life
such
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as electricity, water bills, house rental , children`s school fees and entertainment.
As a result
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, adults spend as much as possible their time on work at least eight hours .
However
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,
parents
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seem to seek the right balance between profession and family.
while
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parents
Use synonyms
take responsibility for their work , they will
be sent
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send
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their kids to school and
then
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when they go home they spend
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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quality time with their families
and
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apply
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especially on weekends and holidays.
For instance
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,
according to
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tourist companies during ten years , the number of family
travel
Correct subject-verb agreement
travels
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is
Wrong verb form
been
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increasing every year. Another thing, nowadays there are so many activities to bond family-related between father, mother and children like helping on their home works, extracurricular courses for family. In conclusion, finding a life balance is an important thing for any individual, it is necessary to take care of children to develop themselves
mental
Change the word
mentally
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and
physical
Change the word
physically
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.

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Task Response
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your opinion on whether parents have little time for their children or not.
Task Response
The conclusion should summarize the main points and reiterate your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Spend more time on planning your essay structure to improve the logical flow of ideas.
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