Many people believe that social networking sites(like Facebook)have had a negative impact on individuals and society.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
We are now living in a new era with
information
explosion，more and more Add an article
the information
people
share various information
online with others.Some people
Add a missing verb
are concern
concern
Replace the word
concerned
this
trend may expose people
in
a dangerous online world which could Change preposition
to
misleads
their view of Change the verb form
mislead
the
reality.While I believe there are more positive aspects that social media would bring Correct article usage
apply
for
Change preposition
to
people
`s life.
To begin
with,young people
may be induced to commit crimes by violent pictures showed
on these applications.Despite Wrong verb form
shown
of
lovely moments Remove the preposition
apply
people
want to post on their Facebook,some people
would publish some information
fill with blooding plots and cruel behaviors
.Exposing Change the spelling
behaviours
in
Change preposition
on
these
Change the determiner
this information
information
frequently,people
,especially youth,would attend to misjudge the real world.For example
,teenagers would bully their classmates to announce their status if there are
someone who Correct subject-verb agreement
is
claim
the winner can control losers in a fight.Even many wrong Change the verb form
claims
massages
online Correct your spelling
messages
convinces
Change the verb form
convince
people
to break the law or harm others physically.
From my perspective ,majority
Correct article usage
the majority
social
applications have blocked Change preposition
of social
such
negative information
through strict filter systems.Thus
,there actually
more positive news that Add a missing verb
is actually
people
are touching with
on social media,Change preposition
apply
such
as the valuable literature
works,the online class of professors and the useful skills teaching videos.Replace the word
literary
People
can use these knowledge
to enhance their survival skills in society.Another convincing fact is that it gives citizens an opportunity to meet new friends who share similar hobbies or connect Change the determiner
this knowledge
peers
Change preposition
with peers
who
they have no chance to visit in reality.If someone`s friend or family members immigrated to Change the pronoun
whom
other countries
,Facebook or other social chatting software can offer a platform for them to know the other`s current life through the sharing video and Fix the agreement mistake
another country
blog
on each other’s main page or Fix the agreement mistake
blogs
give
Wrong verb form
giving
a
energetic Change the article
an
comment
to encourage both.
In conclusion,the social network provided a stage for Fix the agreement mistake
comments
people
to explore the different aspects of the world and we need
utilize it properly.Add the particle
toneed
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite