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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in seprate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #boys #girls #seprate #schools #benefit
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There is no doubt that these days education is a vital part of the process of society's development. Certain individuals believe that male and female students should attend separate classes at school, others, including me argue that unmixed education lecturers are better for young learners from both genders. There are several important reasons that make me strongly disagree with the idea of maxing school classes for girls and boys.
First,
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God created males and females with
a different attitudes
Correct the article-noun agreement
different attitudes
a different attitude
show examples
 and they do have not similar interests.
Therefore
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, teaching techniques should vary for each gender to match their preferred learning style. One clear example is that boys tend to be more active and violent toward each other,
in contrast
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 to girls who love talking and being softer and kinder to each other than males.
Second,
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sexual attraction between men and women is a normal thing in humans even at a younger age.These natural needs would cause a distraction in students' focusing skills, which will lead to scores being decreased and a lot of students failing to pass an exam.
On the other hand
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, some nation
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
show examples
 their children to attend mixed schools to be familiar with the opposite gender, so if they graduate and work in a mixed work environment, it will be easier for them.
For instance
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, hospitals, universities, and shops all have women and men employees working with each other. In conclusion, in my opinion,
although
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 some people prefer their children to go to educational institutions that have mixed-gender classes, I believe that it has drawbacks more than benefits for the younger generation.
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task achievement
Try to provide specific examples or broader context to strengthen your points. For instance, you mentioned gender-specific teaching techniques but could further elaborate on this with exact methods or studies supporting your view.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'maxing school classes' should be 'mixing school classes'). Consider proofreading or using grammar tools to polish your essay.
task achievement
Ensure all points are fully developed. The second main argument about sexual attraction needs stronger development and support to fully understand its impact on mixed schools.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You present both viewpoints and provide your own opinion, fulfilling the task requirement.
coherence cohesion
The sentences are generally clear and easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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