Stress-related illness are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?

#illness

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly usual. In my opinion, the culture of

comparison

Use synonyms

may be the reason why more and more people are suffering from stress-related illnesses.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the

comparison

Use synonyms

culture creates a burden on people which generates stress-related illness.

For example

Linking Words

, in order to be outstanding, parents usually force their

children

Use synonyms

to take lots of tutorials to get high marks.

Children

Use synonyms

are occupied with their studies but have less time to themselves amused.

As a result

Linking Words

, the long term pressure and the lack of rest may easily form stress-related illnesses. To deal with

this

Linking Words

problem, the

government

Use synonyms

can set up some policies to reduce the chance of

comparison

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

can require schools not to disclose students' grades. In

this

Linking Words

way, parents may not be able to compare with each other.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

can culture students in different areas

such

Linking Words

as sports and arts rather than focus on academics only.

As a result

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

can have varial class and amusement. In conclusion, the reason for the rising stress-related illness may be the

comparison

Use synonyms

among parents. As it reduces the extracurricular activities and

children

Use synonyms

can hardly relax. To solve the issue, the

government

Use synonyms

can set up some policies to prevent

comparison

Use synonyms

Submitted by hhhhelen.poon on Mon Apr 11 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

206 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Taking a gap year between high school and university can have several advantages and disadvantages. On the positive side, it can provide young people with an opportunity to gain valuable life experiences, develop independence, and become more mature. They can use this time to travel, volunteer, or work, which can help them gain new skills and perspectives that may not be available in a traditional classroom setting. Additionally, a gap year can give students a break from the academic pressures of high school and allow them to enter university feeling more focused and motivated.
6.5
band
In some countries, it can be difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience. What do you think are the causes and effects of this problem?
There are countries around the world in which it is difficult for individuals to get recruited in reputed organisations with good jobs when they are over 50 despite having relevant experience. In this essay, I will discuss some of the reasons for this problem and how this issue impacts people.
5
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Good education is what makes us qualified for the job that we are interested in but getting education dosen't mean only going to good university. Some students prefer improve their skills, learn how to work with information in addition to their main subjects, but some of them thinks that the main thing is getting good grades. In this essay we will discuss both these opinions and show their advantages and drawbacks.
7.5
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement
It is debatable whether science should be beneficial for society. Science has been believed for its benefits which at present we take advantage of. In addition, Numerous experiments done in the past brought a vast improvement in one’s life. Therefore, this essay will put forward the reason why it is believed that science should be subjective to societies’ development.
5
band
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
vNowadays, some people have various views about whether children should be taught to be competitive or co-operate. While a sense of competition sometimes be useful for life, I believe that a sense of co-operate is more vital for people.

Stress-related illness are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

In some countries, it can be difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience. What do you think are the causes and effects of this problem?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion.