Stress-related illness are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?
Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly usual. In my opinion, the culture of
comparison
may be the reason why more and more people are suffering from stress-related illnesses.
To begin
with, the comparison
culture creates a burden on people which generates stress-related illness. For example
, in order to be outstanding, parents usually force their children
to take lots of tutorials to get high marks. Children
are occupied with their studies but have less time to themselves amused. As a result
, the long term pressure and the lack of rest may easily form stress-related illnesses.
To deal with this
problem, the government
can set up some policies to reduce the chance of comparison
. For example
, the government
can require schools not to disclose students' grades. In this
way, parents may not be able to compare with each other. Moreover
, the government
can culture students in different areas such
as sports and arts rather than focus on academics only. As a result
, children
can have varial class and amusement.
In conclusion, the reason for the rising stress-related illness may be the comparison
among parents. As it reduces the extracurricular activities and children
can hardly relax. To solve the issue, the government
can set up some policies to prevent comparison
.Submitted by hhhhelen.poon on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite