Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #animals

Some

animals

have been in danger of extinction. Some people argue that we should protect all wild

animals

while

others insist little protection should be placed on the

animals

. In

this

essay, I will discuss both opinions and argue humans should place safety

measures

on wild

animals

To begin

with, protecting wild

animals

brings about both positive and negative outcomes. First of all, the ecosystem will remain stable.

For instance

, if

whales

are at risk of being extinct, shrimps and plankton, which are the main food of

whales

, will increase sharply as fewer

whales

eat shrimps and plankton.

However

, when some methods are put in place to keep the number of

whales

, the system will stay stable.

In contrast

, some harmful

animals

are

also

protected by people's action plans.

As a result

, human beings will suffer from the harmful effects caused by those violent beasts.

On the other hand

, few

protecting

Replace the word

protection

show examples

measures

for wild

animals

also

produce beneficial and detrimental implications.

Firstly

, only the fittest can survive, which means unless it is strong enough to win against other

animals

, it will disappear and go extinct.

In other words

, only the finest will remain in the world. Despite

this

positive aspect, no safeguard

measures

for wild

animals

will result in the disappearance of some

animals

For example

, we are now witnessing our precious and harmless koalas are on the brink of disappearing from the earth. Given that safeguard

measures

were not placed before and the number of koalas has been significantly decreasing,

Correct pronoun usage

there

show examples

is no doubt that so many other

animals

not cared for by people will face a similar destiny.

To sum up

, protecting wild

animals

produce

Correct subject-verb agreement

produces

show examples

both beneficial and detrimental effects.

Similarly

, not putting protection

measures

causes not only benign but

also

malign ramifications. Given that the positive impacts of protection outweigh the negative aspects of not introducing safety

measures

, I think all wild

animals

should be protected.

Submitted by narsysos on Mon Apr 11 2022

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task response

The essay addresses the task but could provide a more balanced view of the two opinions, and the introduction lacks a clear summary of the main points.

coherence and cohesion

The essay demonstrates some logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be developed more effectively.

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecosystem
conservation status
ecological significance
holistic approach
endangered species
natural heritage
unforeseen negative impacts
economically non-viable
prioritization
ecosystem balance
conservation efforts

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