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Band 3.5

Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #hours #consequences
It is often argued that countries having long medium working
hours
 are economically successful,
on the contrary
,
that
Correct word choice
apply
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states have social anti-impact results. I completely disagree with
this
 opinion and think that short-term average working
hours
 are more important than long-term medium working
hours
. In some countries, most people work approximately 8-10
hours
 per day, and it makes them so tired to do lifestyle exercise and enjoyable things.
For instance
, in my country, Kazakhstan,
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
show examples
 workers tend to work for industry, fabrics and public services,
government
Correct word choice
and government
show examples
. They have not only enough time to make money but
also
 to do enjoying things.
By
Change preposition
In
show examples
this
 way , they can get angrebile and unhappy in
economically
Correct article usage
an economically
show examples
 successful country.
On the other hand
, in a number of slightest country ones attempt to work
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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short average working
hours
 per day, and without working weekends. after heavy working
hours
Add a comma
,hours
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 they can go to hang out and enjoy
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
life.
that is
way
Correct article usage
the way
show examples
 governments jog would get higher results. in conclusion, I strongly believe that short average working
hours
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 than long medium working
hours
, it makes people happy and motivated.
Submitted by k.j.e.94_kz on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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