These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #move #area #adults #development

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In today's modern era,

people

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are migrating from their places to other parts of the world for a better future. It has become a trend nowadays, that after completing studies

adults

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prefer to move to remote

cities

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. I believe that the moving of young ones to different towns is better and has a more positive impact rather than its negative side. I will explain the pros and cons of

this

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topic in the upcoming paragraphs. First and foremost, the decision to move abroad or to big

cities

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adults

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has more benefits in their lives

such

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as finding a job and a better lifestyle. The

cities

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are more developed and have established companies, factories and a variety of shops there. They can get jobs easily in those companies which helps them to grow more in their

life

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. There are the best schools , food items and hospitals available. So, most of the

people

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prefer to live in urban

areas

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nowadays. The

people

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are educated and living advanced lives and

also

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, all the things are easily accessible from basic to fancy things as compared to rural

areas

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. Because the rural

areas

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are not that developed and have facilities provided to the

people

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living there . They have to travel to their nearby towns to buy materials

such

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as food items, furniture and clothes.

Moreover

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, they

also

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do not have doctors available in their villages which can lead a person to serious health conditions.

For example

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, if someone has an emergency like a heart attack, they have to go to the city hospital for treatment from a special doctor.

Also

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, the person can face death or get worse if they arrive late

while

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arriving in the city.

Additionally

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, these differences make the

adults

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move to developed places to live a better

life

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However

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, there are some demerits of moving to

cities

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from rural

areas

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for instance

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, they live separately from their parents and other family members. It will create a gap between them and

also

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some start feeling loneliness and emotional stress. Another drawback of migrating is that these places are getting more crowded and small houses or apartments to live there

whereas

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in the villages the houses are large and spacious.

Also

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, the establishment of more and more warehouses and the usage of automated machines cause air pollution which leads to health issues. In conclusion, the advantages of migration outweigh the disadvantages. The moving of

adults

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has a positive impact on their

life

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as it builds their careers and helps to gain confidence by living themself and maintaining their

life

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easily

Submitted by damandhillon75026 on Fri Sep 13 2024

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task achievement

Consider making your introduction more engaging and concise by directly stating your position and main points. This will help to set the stage clearly for your argument.

task achievement

Work on developing your ideas further and providing more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your response.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using more varied linking words and phrases to avoid repetition and enhance the flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Keep an eye on your sentence structure and variety. Mixing short and long sentences can make your writing more dynamic and engaging.

task achievement

You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the essay.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are well-supported and logically structured, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

task achievement

You've successfully addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, giving a balanced view.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

430 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

metropolitan
migration
globalization
socio-economic factors
traditional norms
cosmopolitan environment
brain drain
assimilation
gentrification
alienation
multiculturalism
infrastructure strain

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These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Word Count

2) Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People should only concentrate on a single skill for life because it is the best way to succeed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own food and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh disadvantages?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.