These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In today's modern era,
people
are migrating from their places to other parts of the world for a better future. It has become a trend nowadays, that after completing studies
adults
prefer to move to remote
cities
. I believe that the moving of young ones to different towns is better and has a more positive impact rather than its negative side. I will explain the pros and cons of
this
topic in the upcoming paragraphs. First and foremost, the decision to move abroad or to big
cities
by
adults
has more benefits in their lives
such
as finding a job and a better lifestyle. The
cities
are more developed and have established companies, factories and a variety of shops there. They can get jobs easily in those companies which helps them to grow more in their
life
. There are the best schools , food items and hospitals available. So, most of the
people
prefer to live in urban
areas
nowadays. The
people
are educated and living advanced lives and
also
, all the things are easily accessible from basic to fancy things as compared to rural
areas
. Because the rural
areas
are not that developed and have facilities provided to the
people
living there . They have to travel to their nearby towns to buy materials
such
as food items, furniture and clothes.
Moreover
, they
also
do not have doctors available in their villages which can lead a person to serious health conditions.
For example
, if someone has an emergency like a heart attack, they have to go to the city hospital for treatment from a special doctor.
Also
, the person can face death or get worse if they arrive late
while
arriving in the city.
Additionally
, these differences make the
adults
move to developed places to live a better
life
.
However
, there are some demerits of moving to
cities
from rural
areas
for instance
, they live separately from their parents and other family members. It will create a gap between them and
also
some start feeling loneliness and emotional stress. Another drawback of migrating is that these places are getting more crowded and small houses or apartments to live there
whereas
in the villages the houses are large and spacious.
Also
, the establishment of more and more warehouses and the usage of automated machines cause air pollution which leads to health issues. In conclusion, the advantages of migration outweigh the disadvantages. The moving of
adults
has a positive impact on their
life
as it builds their careers and helps to gain confidence by living themself and maintaining their
life
easily
Submitted by damandhillon75026 on

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task achievement
Consider making your introduction more engaging and concise by directly stating your position and main points. This will help to set the stage clearly for your argument.
task achievement
Work on developing your ideas further and providing more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using more varied linking words and phrases to avoid repetition and enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Keep an eye on your sentence structure and variety. Mixing short and long sentences can make your writing more dynamic and engaging.
task achievement
You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported and logically structured, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
You've successfully addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, giving a balanced view.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • metropolitan
  • migration
  • globalization
  • socio-economic factors
  • traditional norms
  • cosmopolitan environment
  • brain drain
  • assimilation
  • gentrification
  • alienation
  • multiculturalism
  • infrastructure strain
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