As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?
Nowadays , Citenzen in flourishing countries easily possess
cars
which bring some favour for their own in some extent, while
I reckon this
trend for individuals outweighs the drawbacks for habitat.
on the one hand, the pace of the
life and increase in transportation have become so fast that the population had to work hard and keep up to date with it .Correct article usage
apply
This
is why human has
invented a plethora of transport modes leading to their means being more inexpensive price. Correct subject-verb agreement
have
As a result
, there are so many conveniences for people and communities. Moreover
, this
trend seems to grow in up car industry and related industrial fields . It would create job opportunities for labour and strengthen the nation`s economy.For example
, according to
European statistics, the number of produced cars
and usage in this
market expects
to Wrong verb form
is expected
raise
to 3 million Correct your spelling
rise
cars
each year during a decade.
On the other hand
, first,
there are many hazards associated with the number of increasing automobile users like polluted air and fume
from automobile manufacturers and Fix the agreement mistake
fumes
cars
. That tremendously affects the folks , species on the planet and the earth and cause
air-borne diseases for Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
human
and animals like asthma and respiratory diseases. Fix the agreement mistake
humans
Second,
energy consumption in private transport contributed
a huge number of greenhouse emissions to the environment and atmosphere . Wrong verb form
contributes
This
means the government must spend a numerous financial
to deal with Correct word choice
lot of money
this
problem.
In conclusion,raising the figure of used cars
can develop the economy and bring some benefits for
populations Change preposition
to
however
the outweighed advantages of this
trend should be considered by individuals and nations in the worldSubmitted by thuy.hong.cyc on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are brief and lack clarity. Make sure to clearly introduce the topic and provide a strong conclusion summarising your ideas.
Task Achievement
You need to provide more specific examples to support your points. Use data, statistics, and real-life scenarios to strengthen your arguments.