Some say that the best way to deal with public health issues is to invest in developing new medicines. Others argue that a better way is to promote a healthy lifestyle. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some argue that the optimal way to treat the
health
conditions of people is by investing in new medications,
while
others argue that promoting healthy practices is a better approach.
This
essay will discuss how new drugs can help in treating untreatable diseases and why I think that a healthy lifestyle is a better approach because it can prevent
health
problems.
To begin
with, investing in modern drugs can help treat untreatable diseases. It has been proven that pharmaceutical innovations have led to significant improvements in
health
outcomes and prolong the lives of people with chronic diseases.
For instance
, the recent invention of COVID-19 vaccines has been effective in containing the global pandemic and was able to dramatically decrease the mortality rate worldwide.
Thus
, new medicines are essential for people to live longer and healthier.
However
, I believe that it is not a sustainable way to improve the
overall
health
of the public.
On the other hand
, promoting a healthy lifestyle can improve the
overall
well-being of many. Rather than treating illnesses, healthy habits can help prevent them from occurring and recurring. It is more sustainable and affordable than buying medications which are usually taken for life.
For example
, avoiding smoking can reduce the risk of having lung cancer and problems related to passive smoking.
Hence
, healthy behaviour stops the sickness before it even starts which is more beneficial for everyone. In conclusion,
while
others may argue that modern drugs are essential in treating
health
problems, I believe that the best way to address public
health
issues is to promote a healthy lifestyle because it can prevent unhealthy conditions which can improve the
overall
well-being of individuals.
Submitted by yoko.onerom on

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coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, aim to make your transitions between paragraphs and sentences smoother. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your ideas and clearly connect sections of your argument.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt. Incorporate a balanced discussion of both views with equal depth before stating your own opinion. Add more specific examples and data to bolster your arguments and make your stance more convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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