Schools are no longer necessary, because children can get so much information available through Internet, and they can study just as well at home. What extent do you agree or disagree?
It has been pointed out that, since school children are able to look for a tremendous amount of information online and study from their comfortable homes, educational establishments have become redundant. Personally, I completely disagree with
this
idea as attending schools brings benefits to both individuals and society.
First of all, academic institutions have a positive impact on psychological health. The reason is that classrooms are a social place where children are able to meet new friends and interact with people with different cultural and educational backgrounds, which enhances their strong sense of belonging and connection, Linking Words
thus
contributing to mental growth. Linking Words
For instance
, a huge number of parents whose children are attending primary schools mention that watching an iPad or studying at home makes their son or daughter feel lonely owing to the lack of personal touch or face-to-face communication. Linking Words
By contrast
, going to school every day allows their child to socialise with their classmates, which is extremely beneficial for their mental health.
Linking Words
In addition
, the elimination of educational establishments will cause a serious repercussion for our society. Linking Words
This
is because a massive proportion of the workforce is employed in the education sector, and if colleges or schools were closed, they would lose their jobs and stable income to support their livelihood, which would lead to our community being unstable. As an illustration, several school teachers who have lost their jobs say that the advancement of online education has replaced them, which forces them to rely on government subsidies to cover their expensive living expenses. Linking Words
This
alternation not only brings huge pressure on both them and our communities.
In conclusion, Linking Words
although
people may vary in their opinions about whether academic institutions are unnecessary, I am of the opinion that online education cannot replace the traditional educational places, which have benefits to pupils' mental well-being and society.Linking Words
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task
Keep your plan clear. Say your view at the start, then give two main points with short examples, and end with a short finish.
cohesion
Use simple links like first, also, and then to join ideas so the flow is easy to follow.
language
Use easy words. Try to fix long or hard phrases. Check small mistakes in spelling and grammar.
content
Give more clear examples that back each point directly. This makes your argument strong.
structure
The view is clear and steady.
structure
There is a full end with a conclusion.
cohesion
Ideas are easy to follow.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite