IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?

#doctors #people #exercise #patients
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
elderly folks have a hard time participating in daily workouts that are recommended by their medical experts. There are several reasons that explain
this
Linking Words
, and I think providing a public park, group training sessions, and a professional trainer would be the best ways to encourage them to do more exercise. Most workouts require standard body strengths and outgoing activities which are not optimized for elders’ circumstances. The elders’ health conditions are usually weak and insufficient to do even simple activities
such
Linking Words
 as running or walking. On top of that, most old folks have small or no social groups to look out for in their routine. Elders’ social band patterns are often found in single households or couples, due to having grown-up children of their own. Despite having a regular workout habit being significant to senior communities, they have a lack of options to get support. I believe organizations or hospitals should build group training classes for elderly folks. It would give an opportunity to share training challenges, and encourage them to increase their participation while they socialize with others. Speaking of workout sessions for elders, there are several programs idea that could provide in public park areas,
such
Linking Words
 as golfs club, dance class, and Yoga.
Also
Linking Words
, I think To prevent elder’s minor injuries a professional supervisor who checks their exercise daily will be necessary. In conclusion, various things explain why old people have difficulty following daily exercise recommendations from their doctors, but by going to a public park, joining group training sessions, and asking advice from session supervisors, they can gain more interest and participate in daily workouts.
Submitted by eunheaimo92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: