You have had a class discussion about studying at a private school.

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Education is an extremely important part of our lives. There are several types of

schools

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which students and their parents can choose from and

one

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of them is a private school. A lot of people enrol their children on them , but is it worth it? Obviously, in our times where lots of parents want the best education for their children, the most favoured are private

schools

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Firstly

Linking Words

one

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reason for choosing them is that the facilities are more modern and advanced than in public

schools

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. For example, students have full access to smart technologies like tablets, computers and interactive whiteboards.

Moreover

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, classrooms are designed and equipped with new modern standards and are more comfortable for studying. Using brand new desks is making the children feel better, safe and comfortable.

Secondly

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, the number of students in

one

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class in the private

schools

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is less than that in the public ones. Attending private

schools

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ensures more personal attention to every single child

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

For instance

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, teachers can record the achievements and deal with the problems of each student. In

this

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way, pupils build their confidence.

On the other hand

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, private

schools

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have their drawbacks. The major disadvantage is that they are paid. Choosing a paid institution

instead

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of a public

one

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can cost parents more than the average salary.

For example

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, more than 50 per cent of families are giving up, because of the high taxes. All in all, public

schools

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are part of the educational system and it is our choice whether to choose them.

Although

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there are drawbacks, I strongly believe that the advantages outweigh them.

Submitted by taniadim74 on Fri Apr 15 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

266 words

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You have had a class discussion about studying at a private school.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that should focus on subjects that they are good at or that they find the most interest discuss both side and give your opinion

Some people believe that the internet has brought people closer together by providing access to information and communication. Others argue that it has isolated people and decreased the quality of social interactions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people say that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environment pollution . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children these days are using gadgets like smartphones and tablets from an early age for both entertainment and education. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?