IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You have had a class discussion about studying at a private school.

#class #discussion #school
Education is an extremely important part of our lives. There are several types of
schools
 which students and their parents can choose from and
one
 of them is a private school. A lot of people enrol their children on them , but is it worth it? Obviously, in our times where lots of parents want the best education for their children, the most favoured are private
schools
.
Firstly
,
one
 reason for choosing them is that the facilities are more modern and advanced than in public
schools
. For example, students have full access to smart technologies like tablets, computers and interactive whiteboards.
Moreover
, classrooms are designed and equipped with new modern standards and are more comfortable for studying. Using brand new desks is making the children feel better, safe and comfortable.
Secondly
, the number of students in
one
 class in the private
schools
 is less than that in the public ones. Attending private
schools
 ensures more personal attention to every single child
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
For instance
, teachers can record the achievements and deal with the problems of each student. In
this
 way, pupils build their confidence.
On the other hand
, private
schools
 have their drawbacks. The major disadvantage is that they are paid. Choosing a paid institution
instead
 of a public
one
 can cost parents more than the average salary.
For example
, more than 50 per cent of families are giving up, because of the high taxes. All in all, public
schools
 are part of the educational system and it is our choice whether to choose them.
Although
 there are drawbacks, I strongly believe that the advantages outweigh them.
Submitted by taniadim74 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: