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Band 6.5

With the increase in computer use, many people feel that school do not need to put the emphasis that they used to on basic handwriting skills or mathematics skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#computer #people #school #emphasis #skills #mathematics
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The advancement of technologies
such
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 as computers makes many people believe that schools do not need to put an effort
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 the abilities of handwriting and calculating. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
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 point of view and the reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before the conclusion is reached. The appearance of computers can ease their users to finish their assignments and it provides them with software, which helps them achieve tasks.
However
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, most programs show only results and they do not give their users processing methods or how the answers are calculated. As users, we need to know and be able to check the outputs by using our mathematic skills and not put all our trust in the programs.
For instance
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, working as an engineer demands computers to help them generate results and save their precious time, meantime, they need to understand what methods are used in the programs and be capable of cross-checking them with their calculating knowledge.
Moreover
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, handwriting is not only a basic skill but
also
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 a career. As we can see, these days, people use their neat handwriting to create
artworks
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artwork
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 and some of them open a handwriting course for their living.
For example
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, these kinds of people create a new font style, which matches clients' needs for their shops' names, and
as
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a
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research has been published that the font can affect the attention of customers' decision whether to come to the shops or not. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with
this
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 idea. Both skills are essential in our lives and they should be taught and cannot be neglected in
the
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schools.
Besides
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, learners can be
expert
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experts
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 in these skills and apply them to
further
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 their careers in the future.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

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Clarity
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your argument with specific examples. You've done well in general, but further refining these examples to directly tie back to the question can enhance clarity.
Cohesion
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Content Depth
Consider exploring and including counterarguments to your main points. This can add depth to your essay and show a comprehensive grasp of the topic.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined and effectively frame your essay.
Relevance
Your use of examples, such as the role of an engineer or handwriting as a career, effectively supports your main points.
Flow
The logical structure of your essay guides the reader through your arguments in a coherent manner.
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