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Writing Samples
Band 6

People say that a country will benefit greatly if students study abroad. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #country #benefit #students #study
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In the contemporary era, a large section of learners
going
Wrong verb form
go
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 to
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
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 for
their
Change the word
a
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 better
education
Use synonyms
 and future.
However
Linking Words
, few individuals opine that it will be
beneficial
Replace the word
benefited
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 immensely to a nation if the
students
Use synonyms
 go to aboard for their higher
education
Use synonyms
. I personally, fully agree with the given statement and my views will be discussed in the following paragraphs. To commence with, there are
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of advantages if pupils will go to another
country
Use synonyms
 for
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
further
Linking Words
 studies.
Firstly
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, it will help
to
Change preposition
apply
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a
country
Use synonyms
 to get knowledgeable
employees
Use synonyms
 in the
further
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 because
Add the comma(s)
,in
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in
Change preposition
apply
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developed countries,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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give more emphasis on practical knowledge rather than theoretical.
Therefore
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,
students
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 get more knowledge accurately.
For example
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, In
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
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 nursing
students
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 spend more than 8 hours daily in clinics rather than in
classroom
Add an article
the classroom
show examples
 and their teachers educate them
live
Add the particle
to live
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;
therefore
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, they get more exposure to their field and in
future
Add a comma
,future
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 they work for their countries very well.
Hence
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, it will be very beneficial for their
country
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 to get more knowledgeable
employees
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 in future.
Moreover
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, the nation will
be get
Change the verb form
be getting
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 more multi-skilled
employees
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 who will have more confidence and
able
Replace the word
ability
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 to deal with different cultural people.
Furthermore
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, they will be bilingual so it will really helpful for
a companies
Correct the article-noun agreement
companies
a company
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.
For instance
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, in telecom
companies
Add a comma
,companies
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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need
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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employees
Use synonyms
 who have great English speaking skills as well as their own regional languages. So that, they can easily communicate and spread their messages
with
Change preposition
to
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large
Change the article
a large
the large
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 number of people. So it will have more positive points for a
country
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 if their
students
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 get
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
an education
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in
Change preposition
apply
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abroad. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 trend has more positives points as compared to negatives. The nations will get more practical, knowledgeable, multi-skilled and confident
employees
Use synonyms
 if they will get their higher
education
Use synonyms
 in another
country
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by jk127987 on

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