IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is a view that saving
money
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 for the
future
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 is important for everyone, including the youth.
While
Linking Words
 some say that it is not important for everyone as they should spend their earnings on their needs, I believe that it is really essential, as saving
money
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 can give them many possibilities in the
future
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.
While
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 saving
money
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 is widely considered a wise financial habit, it can limit the personal growth of youngsters, place unrealistic pressure on limited income, and ignore the greater value of real-world
experiences
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. Young people should prioritise gaining life
experiences
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 rather than saving
money
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.
For example
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, spending funds on travel, hobbies, or social events can teach practical life skills, improve social connections, and build confidence skills that can be more valuable than
money
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 in the long term.
Experiences
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 help young generations grow emotionally and mentally, which is difficult to achieve by simply hoarding finances.
Therefore
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, the value of
experiences
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 often outweighs the benefits of early financial saving. Being economical can open the doors to many possibilities in the
future
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.
While
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 adults are often more aware of the importance of financial planning, it is equally vital for young people to understand and practice saving. In the
future
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, they can create or run a business by keeping
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 budget.
For instance
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, as a child, if they economise their budgets, they can open a business in the
future
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 and increase their incomes even more,
also
Linking Words
 they can spend
this
Linking Words
money
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 on their needs.
Therefore
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, their
future
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 will be more productive , and when they grow up, they will know how to spend
money
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 properly. In conclusion, saving
money
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 is not just an adult responsibility ; it is an essential practice that youngsters should adopt early in life. Saving provides numerous advantages that shape a more secure and fulfilling
future
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and connects well to the thesis statement.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your points.
task achievement
Add more details in your conclusion to summarize your main points and reinforce your opinion.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and the overall purpose of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
You present a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument before stating your opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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