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Band 6.5

Modern technology is changing our world. It has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication; it also has disadvantages such as destroying the differences between cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#technology #world #people #communication #differences #cultures
Over the past 40 years, technological changes silently drove a massive social revolution and significantly narrowed the gap between countries, cultures and races. While agreeing that it brings
people
 together, I strongly disagree with it being a threat to cultural diversity.
This
 essay will focus on how the internet and the smartphone have revolutionized the way groups of
people
 come together not just for socializing and friendship but
also
 to make the bonds of their traditions grow strong and sustain outside of physical boundaries that usually govern a
culture
. On the one hand, the internet set out to accomplish an unheard task: easing communication across countries, and making information available to everyone.
On the other hand
, smartphones made
this
 information available to
people
 and diluted the boundaries of
people
,
culture
, and gender bringing
people
 together.
For instance
, it made a person suggest a job that would suit someone in his high school Whatsapp group showcasing the value of weak links.
This
 proves that the world is becoming a smaller and more cohesive place for us to live. It is a myth that technology is destroying cultural diversity.
On the contrary
, it is allowing
people
 to experience
culture
 irrespective of the physical location they live in.
For example
, they started organizing themselves into online cultural groups, to organize and sustain themselves in a foreign land. As an example, hundreds of Hindu pilgrims organizing and participating in festival celebrations in the United States not just strengthened their
culture
 but
also
 helped it survive in an unknown land. In conclusion, I think we are moving towards a very promising society, which is going to retain its rich
culture
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 while making it a tightly-knit world.
Submitted by nkamatam on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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