A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter, • describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team • summarize the benefits of paying for the concerts • say how you think the company should spend the money

#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children’s #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing in regards to a request for feedback from my side as an audience, between the activities choices provided by your

company

Use synonyms

for our local residents and by elaborating a few benefits for each option. The idea to sponsor the local sports team for children will not only be a healthy interest for the children

Remove the comma

apply

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but

this

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would

also

Linking Words

be appreciated by parents who have not been able to afford their child's sports.

This

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will

also

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allow our potential youth to limit their screen time in

this

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technological world and help them to develop a habit of physical activity. The concert is an enjoyable activity too, where people will be entertained well. Every local resident will surely remember

this

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event for a very long time and especially if it is happening two times. In my opinion, the

company

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must sponsor the sports team for local children, as it has long-term benefits along with supporting overall families directly and indirectly. The

company

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will

also

Linking Words

be able to advertise for two years throughout

this

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unique initiative, whereas concerts are just two days events. I will appreciate it if you will take my feedback into consideration and will surely respect any decision of the

company

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. Yours faithfully, Nofal Amin

Submitted by nofalamin92 on Sat Apr 16 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

212 words

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