Some people say that when deciding how taxes are spent, government should prioritize health care. Others think that there are more important priorities for tax-payers’ money. Discuss both views and give your

Various controversies have emerged as to whether the government should spend
taxes
on health care or other crucial sectors. Some people insist that
healthcare
systems
are vital to their countries, especially for those with enormous elderly people.
Nevertheless
, I believe that
taxes
should be distributed to different areas. On the one hand,
healthcare
systems
can alleviate the economic load of patients. Some people cannot afford the remarkably high cost of medical therapy.
This
might jeopardize their basic lives and make it hard to live by themselves.
However
, some countries supply well-developed
healthcare
systems
. Many elderly citizens and patients benefit from
such
services and can survive by themselves with their healthy bodies.
This
can notably decrease the cost of helping low-income families and unemployed labour.
On the other hand
, revenue can be utilized in various sectors which are more beneficial than spending on improving health care. Take Taiwan as an instance; The government encourages the development of the IT industry by providing companies with funds.
This
not only dramatically diminishes unemployment but
also
improves the GDP of
this
small country. As the economy becomes better, the number of
taxes
rises notably and can be invested in more beneficial applications.
Therefore
, from my perspective, I highly agree that we should spend revenue on various areas
instead
of
healthcare
systems
. By way of conclusion, though well-developed
healthcare
systems
might benefit citizens, especially the elderly and patients, I still believe that
taxes
should be utilized in numerous other areas.
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task achievement
The essay should include a clearer and more detailed discussion of both views. For a higher score, more specific examples and explanations could be provided to strengthen the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay flows well, the transition between the ideas could be smoother. Using more connecting phrases can enhance coherence. Avoid using phrases that may seem redundant or out of place.
task achievement
It would be beneficial to further elaborate on the conclusion to reflect a more balanced view of both perspectives discussed. This will help demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in guiding the reader through the writer's arguments effectively.
task achievement
Specific examples, such as the reference to Taiwan's IT industry, add credibility to the arguments and make the essay more engaging.
task achievement
The language used in the essay is clear and easy to understand, with a good range of vocabulary and sentence structures.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the writer's stance and wraps up the discussion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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