IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The most important aim of science ought to be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Science
Use synonyms
 has always been a cornerstone of human advancement, driving progress and innovation across various fields. The most important aim of
science
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 should indeed be to improve people’s
lives
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.
This
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 perspective emphasizes the practical applications of scientific
research
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 and the benefits it brings to society.
Firstly
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, scientific advancement has significantly enhanced the quality of life. Medical breakthroughs,
such
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 as antibiotics, and advanced surgical techniques, have drastically reduced mortality rates and improved
overall
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 health.
For instance
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, the development of the COVID-19 vaccine has saved countless
lives
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 and allowed scientific
research
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,
such
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 as the internet, smartphones, and renewable energy sources, have transform everyday living, making communication easier, increasing access to information, and promoting sustainability.
Secondly
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,
science
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 plays a critical role in solving global challenges. Climate change,
for example
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, poses a significant threat to humanity, and scientific
research
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 is essential in developing solutions to mitigate its impacts. Advances in renewable energy energy-efficient technologies, and environmental conservation efforts are direct results of scientific endeavours aimed at improving human existence.
Furthermore
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, agricultural innovations have increased food production and security, addressing hunger and malnutrition in various parts of the world. These examples underscore how
science
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 can tackle pressing issues and enhance the well-being of nations globally.
However
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, some argue that the pursuit of scientific knowledge should not be solely focused on immediate practical benefits. They contend that fundamental
research
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, driven by curiosity and the desire to understand the natural world, is equally important.
This
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 type of
research
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 often leads to unexpected discoveries that can have profound long-term impacts.
For instance
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, the development of the Internet originated from fundamental
research
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 in computer
science
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 and networking.
Nevertheless
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, even these fundamental discoveries eventually contribute to improving people’s
lives
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, albeit indirectly. In conclusion,
while
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 fundamental
research
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 is valuable, the primary goal of
science
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 should be to enhance human well-being. By focusing on improving health, solving global challenges, and driving technological innovation,
science
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 can make a significant positive impact on society.
Therefore
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, I strongly agree that the most important aim of
science
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 ought to be to improve people's
lives
Use synonyms

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task achievement
Try to further develop each main point to give more depth. For instance, expand on how specific scientific advancements have improved people's lives and address potential counterarguments more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Work on smoothening the transitions between ideas for better coherence. Some parts of the essay feel slightly disjointed and could benefit from better connecting phrases.
coherence cohesion
Avoid minor errors such as redundant words or slight grammatical mistakes, e.g., 'development of the COVID-19 vaccine has saved countless lives and allowed scientific research, such as the internet,' should be revised properly.
task achievement
Clear and comprehensive response to the task, addressing both sides of the argument and providing relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are clearly present and effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
Main points are generally well-supported with relevant examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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