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Writing Samples
Band 7

Children find it difficult to concentrate on or pay attention to their studies in school. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

Nowadays, many
parents
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 and teachers have found that more and more
children
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 are unable to concentrate on or focus on their studies in
school
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. Some education experts believe that these
children
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 can face more lures in modern society
such
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 as electronic
devices
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 or gadgets, while some
parents
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 think that their sons and daughters may lose their concentration or attention because
parents
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 do not spend enough
time
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 accompanying them.
This
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 essay will discuss the possible reasons and provide some solutions for dealing with these problems in the below paragraphs. On the one hand, it is generally accepted that modern society has more advanced technology and new inventions.
That is
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 to say,
children
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 who live in a modern environment may be hard to avoid using different electronic
devices
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such
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 as laptops, tablets and smartphones which can assist them to finish their
school
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 assignments with higher efficiency.
However
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, these
children
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 may be addicted to electronic
devices
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 or spend too much
time
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 surfing the internet if they do not receive enough relevant technological courses about managing their
time
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 to use the internet and electronic
devices
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 properly.
On the other hand
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, it can be claimed that
parents
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 have worked more working hours in modern society.
That is
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, the
children
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 can lose many opportunities to interact with their
parents
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 which can lead them to feel lonely and unsatisfied.
Furthermore
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, it is believed that many
parents
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 feel exhausted after work, so they may not want to spend more
time
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 communicating or interacting with their
children
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. The only method that can avoid their
children
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 to bother them is to give their sons or daughters electronic
devices
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 to use, but
this
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 method may easily lead their
children
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 to become addicted to electronic
devices
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 without focusing on their studies in
school
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. In conclusion, it can be asserted that both
parents
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 and teachers need to arrange more extracurricular activities for their
children
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 or students to do because these activities can assist them to develop and cultivate their students' attention or concentration which can benefit them to study in
school
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.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Concentration
  • Engagement
  • Curriculum
  • Attention span
  • Learning disorders
  • Interactive learning
  • Personalized learning
  • Supportive learning environment
  • Mental health
  • Organizational skills
  • Educational policy
  • Mindfulness
  • Screen time
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