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Band 5.5

Some people believe that is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #research #business #world
In recent
year
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years
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, technology is commonly seen in the world, everyone can search for plenty of
information
, science, business or studies, on the Internet freely.
However
, some
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people argue that should be confidential. In my opinion, I believe that sharing
to
Change preposition
with
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 everyone brings huge
benefit
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benefits
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because that impacts countries’ development and society’s
knowledge
.
Firstly
, freely academic
information
allow
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allows
show examples
 individuals to learn
knowledge
 and find their potential hobbies. Since individuals can approach various research easily, from
newspaper
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newspapers
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, television or the Internet, it helps them find their interests, which is into science research that makes happy.
Moreover
,
studies
Replace the word
studying
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 consequences acquired easily is helpful for students.
For example
, plenty of undergraduates need to write
study
 reports to gain scores,proving their
knowledge
, so if the resource will be seen by them accessibly, it will be helpful.
Thus
, sharing academic detail is a useful thing that let people learn
knowledge
.
Secondly
, the country’s development will be improved by sharing academic details. As the nation is composed of individuals who founded technology companies as well as help developing, which influence
Correct article usage
the economic
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economic
Replace the word
economy
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, and they are absorbed a wide of
information
.
Moreover
, when numerous
study
’ details are got from the various nations, we can
study
 effortlessly.
For instance
, if we are not allowed
acquiring
Change the verb form
to acquire
show examples
study
 resources from domestic or abroad, our nation will develop very slowly.
Hence
, sharing is very important for every nation.
Consequently
, because we are sharing
study
 data with costless globally, it helps us create
this
 technology world.
Therefore
, I firmly believe that if
information
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 kept confidential, our world will not develop so quickly.
Submitted by Nikky on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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