Extreme sports such as sky diving and sking are very dangerous and should be banned.To what extend do you agree or disagree withe this view?

#sports #sky #withe

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There are many activities that some

people

believe can be hazardous and should be banned

such

as sky diving and skiing. I completely disagree with

this

idea. It is my view that nowadays

people

especially juveniles are more interested

Change the preposition

show examples

doing exciting sports.

hence

, I think these would be enjoyable activities if

people

paid attention to do some safety tips.

firstly

, using safe

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

such

helmet

Add an article

a helmet

show examples

particular

Correct article usage

a particular

show examples

play area can provide a proper situation for

this

kind of

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

secondly

, once

this

hobby is presented under the certain rules,

as a result

, many talented humans flourish and gain a lot of

proud

Replace the word

pride

show examples

for their country with regard to safety rules there is any concern about their health

also

they can release their energy in

positive

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a positive

show examples

way.

In contrast

, some

people

claim that extreme

entertainings

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entertainment

show examples

can

Add a missing verb

be a

show examples

risk. they firmly insist that governments should forbid that kind of

entertainings

Fix the agreement mistake

entertaining

show examples

moreover

, these can endanger the health of humans.

however

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show examples

do not find

this

argument convincing as they can enjoy these hobbies under

control

Correct article usage

the control

show examples

safe

Replace the word

safety

show examples

regulation. In conclusion, I completely disagree with the idea that prohibiting

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

extreme sports because in

this

way several individuals can enjoy and flourish.

Submitted by boreirikimia on Tue Apr 19 2022

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

200 words

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Extreme sports such as sky diving and sking are very dangerous and should be banned.To what extend do you agree or disagree withe this view?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

“Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to play games online, while others think that it can be harmful for children. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?