You have just started a course in a college which has not sports facilities of its own. Write a letter to the manager of the nearest private sports club. In your letter Introduce yourself Say why you are interested in this sports club Ask some questions about the club Example- facilities, members, costs

#course #college #sports #facilities #manager #club #questions #example- #members #costs

Dear Mr. Carls, I am writing

this

epistle to gather some information regarding the private

sports

club you operate. I would like to introduce myself as Mister John Owusu, living on Centre Street which is within a 1 km radius of the

sports

club. Basically, I am a full-time student at Cambrian College located in Sudbury. Even though I am studying as a Laboratory Technician, I have been really into

sports

since childhood. Elucidating

further

, it is regretful that my college does not provide any

sports

program on our campus. But I believe

sports

are crucial for everyone to stay fit and healthy.

Moreover

, I have won many medals and certificates during my school time in various

sports

, for which I am proud.

Therefore

, I do not want to quit

sports

. Owing to

this

I would like to be a member of your

sports

club.

Although

it is an extra affair for you,

however

, it would be great if you could please help me to know the price of the monthly pass to

this

facility. Some more information regarding different facilities that are provided and a few things about the member's access would be appreciated. Looking for a prompt response from your end. Yours sincerely, John

Submitted by jaspreet on Sat May 18 2024

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task achievement

In the introduction, you might want to mention the course you have started in college to match the task prompt more closely. This will make your letter align perfectly with the task requirements.

coherence cohesion

For improved coherence, consider linking some of your paragraphs with transitional phrases that indicate the flow from one idea to another. For instance, you can use phrases like 'Furthermore,' or 'Additionally,' to show connections between your thoughts.

coherence cohesion

Your greeting and closing are polite and appropriately formal, perfectly fitting the context of your letter.

coherence cohesion

Your paragraphs are well-structured, each focusing on a single idea, which enhances readability.

task achievement

You have addressed the main points clearly and provided a full response to the task prompt.

task achievement

The tone of your letter is formal and polite, which is suitable for an inquiry to a manager of a private sports club.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

206 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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