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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #technology
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Today's technologies are developing very rapidly, and along with them, social networks, forums, chats, messengers, and more have tightly entered human everyday
life
. They help us to keep in touch with
people
,
in other words
, to be more social. Even though others believe that
such
 technologies,
on the contrary
, make us less social and alienate us. In my opinion,
such
 technologies can estrange some
people
, they should be a balance between
communication
 on the Internet and in real
life
. On the one hand, humanity has a very convenient and simple tool. Despite all factors,
people
 are able to talk to each other from all over the world. Discord states that during the general lockdown and quarantine period, the total number of users increased by 300%. From
this
 example, it can be understood that
people
 want to stay in touch with each other at all times, no matter what.
On the other hand
, surveys and experiments related to
communication
 abilities and their consequences between
people
 have been conducted. The results revealed that about 39% of those surveyed who only kept in touch with their friends via the internet were prone to general depressive states.
Furthermore
,
people
 with a lack of
communication
 in real
life
 are more prone to feeling worse about themselves, and
this
 can lead to mental health complications in the aftermath. In conclusion, despite the convenience and ease of internet
communication
,
people
 need to strike a balance between communicating virtually
,
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 and communicating in real
life
.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
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