IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think it is better to have many short holidays during the year. Others believe it would be beneficial to have fewer, longer vacations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #holidays #year #vacations
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In
this
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 fast-paced world , the issue of whether to have frequent short holidays or take fewer and longer trips has ignited the public attention which leads to much-heated debate . In
this
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 essay , both views will be discussed in the following paragraphs , and ,
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finally
Add a comma
,finally
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 my opinion will be given. On the one hand , numerous
people
Use synonyms
 who prioritize convenience and budget opine that taking short trips can bring a vast number of benefits .
First
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 of all , almost every traveller is
employee
Add an article
an employee
the employee
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 who
are
Change the verb form
is
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 always in a hectic work schedule . By choosing a short vacation , they could enjoy their moment without being distracted.
Likewise
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 , travelling to close proximity places could significantly save financial resources
such
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 as accommodation fees and fuel charges .
Therefore
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 , without any doubt ,
public
Correct article usage
the public
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enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoys
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this
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 kind of travelling style.
Nevertheless
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 , there are still proponents who are environmental conscious assert that
people
Use synonyms
 ought to have fewer but longer vacations .
Firstly
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 , the lesser they travel , the lesser carbon footprint they produce .
In addition
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 , only going to long-distance places could expand their network and broaden their horizons .
For instance
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 ,
people
Use synonyms
 annually visit foreign countries or locally far-off destinations where they can feel a different vibe and escape from a dull routine.
In other words
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 , spending much time
on
Change preposition
in
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 exotic places could enhance uplifting overall general knowledge. In conclusion ,
this
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 is reasonable to the extent that
people
Use synonyms
 prefer regular short travelling for the sake of time and budget .
However
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 ,in my point of view , spending long holidays is best characterized not only to protect the environment but
also
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 to boost individuals’ proliferation.
Submitted by winter.thiri on

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