IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Workers often have to retire at the age of 60 and 65,some people say that they should be allowed to continue working for as long as they want what is your opinion?

#workers #age #people
Human life expectancy is getting longer than early decades, some
people
 think that workers should be promised to keep working until they want to retire
instead
 of retiring at the normal age of 60 to 65. Considering the long term future, I completely agree that governments should extend the age of working limitation.
Firstly
, with the rapid growth of the elder population and the profound decline in the birth rate. Naturally, it needs plenty to expand in medical treatments and healthcare.
Furthermore
, there is an increased demand for social workers and administrators, which costs heavily. Governments become more and more difficult to maintain the budgets for social welfare and safety. In Taiwan, every year governments need to afford at least 50 per cent of healthcare insurance expenses, and the biggest proportion is the elder group community. Fortunately, if we delay the retirement limit, their companies can pay for 25 per cent of the insurance fee which could definitely reduce the exceeded expenses.
Secondly
, there are quite a many solutions to tackle the crowd's concerns. Apparently, health problems might be the reason that folk refuse to work longer.
For instance
, in the EU,
people
 are willing to work until 68 or even 70 years old.
Additionally
, their union offer a variety of schemes that provide a wide range of career content and flexible job. Through these projects, elders can choose a relatively easier or stressless work to continue their
second
-life career.
Besides
, according to some interviews, the EU residents even think it is a fairly good opportunity to meet new friends and start a new life. To summarize, it is an inevitable result that
people
 are going to live longer than we expect. In spite of
this
, there are some arguments about the retirement age. In my point of view, allowing
people
 to continue working is more suitable for the present situation, in which the pros are weighed over the cons.
Submitted by lovedimension4 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!