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Writing Samples
Band 6

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, in some countries, the population of young people is more than the older generation.
while
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 there are some disadvantages associated with
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 matter, I believe that the advantages are more substantial On the one hand, a principal benefit of
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 issue is that industries, science, and art are more creative and productive in these societies . Since young folks have youthful energy, enthusiasm, and curiosity for everything, they have more endeavours for their projects and new ideas.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a new robot that can do surgery was built by students at London University.
In addition
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, youngsters have more energy to work and be involved in a different part of society.
Hence
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these societies have more workforce and a more functional economy and industry.
On the other hand
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a potential disadvantage of having more youngsters in some countries is that crises or problems may happen more because young people do not have enough experience and knowledge like the elderly to prevent the risks and difficulties.
Therefore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if a pervasive problem occurred, they could not overcome it. Another perceived negative is finding the best solution for the problems, and getting out of a crisis.
Due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the fact that younger people do not have the adequate patience and experience
for solving
Change preposition
to solve

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
Correct your spelling
these

The word the doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 issues, it takes more time and more exertion to resolve the problems. In conclusion, it is true that having more younger individuals in some countries would seem to be disadvantageous under certain circumstances.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in my view, its positive effects in terms of having more contemporary ideas and productions in a different part of society outweigh the drawbacks.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion in every essay to provide a complete structure.
task achievement
Provide a more thorough response to the task prompt by addressing both advantages and disadvantages in detail.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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