IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some contries,more and more people are becoming intersted in finding out about the history of the housr or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

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In certain nations, an increasing number of individuals are eager to learn about the
history
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 of their homes or buildings.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore the reasons behind
this
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 growing interest and suggest ways
people
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 can conduct
such
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 research. The
history
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 of mankind is very fascinating, as
people
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 are always curious as to how we got here and how our ancestors used to live. Few cities
such
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 as New York
City
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, Milan, and Monte Carlo have a rich
history
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 of real estate establishments,
for example
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, in New York
City
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 there used to be numerous factories and industries, that employed thousands of
people
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 and over time these buildings were converted into residential buildings as to accommodate the growth in population. There are many ways to procure
this
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 information, in
this
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 age of technology and advancement everything is digitized, the building record, and
history
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 of certain places, are all available on the internet for the public.
Moreover
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, the
city
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 hall in every town has all the records on paper for the
people
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 who like to do research the old-fashioned ways.
For instance
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, whenever someone makes a request to do some renovations or build a new project they have to get approval from the
city
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 council, which in turn keeps a record so the process is well documented.
To conclude
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, it is humans’ nature to always go back to the roots we came from, and it is a proud feeling when you know that you are living in a residence which is a part of human
history
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. Thanks to the
City
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 hall all of
this
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 information is recorded and is available for the public to do their research.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific reasons for the growing interest in historical knowledge beyond general curiosity. For example, discuss aspects like cultural identity or preservation efforts.
coherence and cohesion
Try to make clearer connections between the ideas in your paragraphs. This can be achieved through the use of linking phrases that guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Include more detailed examples of how people can research their building's history, beyond just mentioning city hall and the internet.
task achievement
Your introductory sentence effectively sets the context and outlines the purpose of the essay clearly.
task achievement
You have provided a good overview of the different methods available for researching building history, showing awareness of available resources.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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