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Writing Samples
Band 5

These days, it seems that an increasing number of people are leaving rural areas to live in the city. Discuss some of the effects of rural depopulations and suggest some ways tin which this trend could be reversed.

#people #areas #city #effects #depopulations #tin #trend
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In
this
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 contemporary era, many inhabitants move towards the urban space from the countryside. There are numerous effects of
this
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 trend on the rural field
as well as
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 some solutions which can overcome
this
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 phenomenon.
This
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 essay paraphrases both effects and solutions in detail. To accentuate the effects, the first and foremost outcome of
this
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 trend is the overpopulation of
Correct article usage
the
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urban range.
For example
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, many individuals are moving to metropolia for better earnings and lavish accommodations.
As a result
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, many municipalities become overcrowded than ever before which
also
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 creates more pollution.
Furthermore
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,
the
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apply
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social lives are eventually disappearing since more and more inhabitants are shifting to
the
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apply
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developing areas.
For instance
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, a decade ago, villages were famous for their culture and traditional values.
However
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, these salient morals are not being seen in the small towns anymore. To offer some solutions,
firstly
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, governments should encourage society to live in the countryside and provide
necessary
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the necessary
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 facilities for them. For exemplify, authorities should establish better education systems which can be helpful for villagers in upbringing their children. Apart from that, basic amenities like hospitals, shopping malls, parks etc. should be introduced in town so citizens can avail these facilities locally. In spite of that, authorities should take care of pollution as these kinds of development often create other problems which cities are facing presently.
To conclude
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, Indeed, cities provide ample amount of opportunities so it is evident that people choose metros over rural areas.
However
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, the administration and individuals should equally try to promote village life by following the above ideas.
Submitted by mahesh029 on

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coherence cohesion
You have presented some relevant ideas and examples, but the essay lacks coherence in presenting and linking these points effectively. Work on structuring your essay in a more organized and logical manner.
task achievement
You have addressed the task by discussing the effects of rural depopulation and suggesting solutions to reverse this trend. However, your ideas could be more comprehensive and clearly presented. Try to develop your points more fully and provide more specific examples and explanations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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