A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public.

#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children’s #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback

Dear Sir or Madam, I would like to profoundly thank your organisation for the decision to spend money for the benefit of our community. I deeply appreciate your readiness to sponsor a local junior

sports

team

or alternatively arrange two open-air

concerts

. Needless to say, financial support to a children's

sports

team

will be notably advantageous for both the

team

and your business. With your sponsorship, they will surely get advanced training which will develop their potential in

sports

and in parallel promote your brand. Perhaps, a few of them will bring glory in professional competitions in the future to make us proud as a community.

On the other hand

, arranging two open-air

concerts

also

a great idea as people will immensely enjoy the performance and some local bands would get the chance to show their talents. It certainly will promote our culture and heritage. I am positive either of your initiatives will serve our community greatly.

However

, supporting the local

sports

team

has a more eminent result than escalating the music fans by sponsoring

concerts

, I believe.

Concerts

would be temporary entertainments for the local people, but provision for the young sportsmen will be remembered for a long and would give us many occasions to celebrate and be proud of. Once again thank you for a commendable initiative. Yours faithfully, Edward Jenkins

Submitted by mehdisohrabi352 on Sun Apr 24 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

224 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?

Is is generally believed that some people are born with certain talent, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that can be taught to become a good sports person or musicians. Discuss both sides and your own opinion.

Technology has detrimental effect on man social life. Agree or disagree?

Governments in many countries have recently introduced special taxes on foods and beverages with high levels of sugar. Some think these taxes are a good idea while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.