Each year, crime committed by young people is on the rise. What are the reasons? Suggest some solutions.

#year #crime #people #rise

The phenomenon of a rising juvenile delinquency rate is of great concern to society, and both families and society are responsible for that.

Although

it is not easy to solve the problem, there are still several effective steps

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

be imposed. There are various reasons which induce

such

situation

Correct article usage

a situation

show examples

, and two main aspects worth more

concerns

Fix the agreement mistake

concern

show examples

. There is no doubt that

parents

are accountable for that. Owing to the growing life cost,

parents

are busy earning money.

That is

to say, they lack adequate time to supervise their

children

. Without adults' accompany, it is extremely likely that

children

mix with

deruptive

Correct your spelling

disruptive

kids. Another reason is that numerous TV

programms

Correct your spelling

programmes

programs

and computer

games

mislead young people. Because of the

campain

Correct your spelling

campaign

and reward pattern,

children

are highly likely to be addicted to the

games

. Whereas,

children

's obsession with violent computer

games

especiall

Correct your spelling

especially

role-playing

games

, is dangerous for the

games

are a par with the best military technology in

traning

Correct your spelling

training

kids to murder.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

excessive violence in mass media, which

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

aggressive. Teenagers are

ignorance

Replace the word

ignorant

show examples

, immature and

sequatious

Correct your spelling

sequacious

, with the misleading, they easily go astray. To tackle

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the problem,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

efforts from

parents

, schools and

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

are required.

Firstly

, it is of paramount importance that

parents

spend more time with their kids, in the meantime, build a sense of responsibility to their

children

Secondly

, educators should pay more attention to

children

ethic

Fix the agreement mistake

ethics

show examples

and mental health. Since school is not a place just imparting knowledge, it

also

plays a dominant role in

instill

Change the verb form

instilling

show examples

high moral values.

Last

but not least, it is of great urgency for authorities to censor TV

progammes

Correct your spelling

programmes

and computer

games

which are popular with young people,

also

iolence

Correct your spelling

violence

content should be restricted. To conclude, both families and society have asserted adverse

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

on young people.

However

, if

parents

, schools and governments make efforts together, the situation would be addressed to some extent.

Submitted by monicahe0211 on Sun Apr 24 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

315 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Juvenile delinquency
Deprived
Inadequate
Disenfranchised
Marginalized
Crime prevention
Intervention
Rehabilitation
Youth outreach programs
Parental guidance
Employment opportunities
Community involvement
Counseling
Substance abuse
Criminal justice system

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problem as result. Why do many working People not get enough exceise? what can be done about this problem?
Working people who do not get enough exercise is often due to their packed schedules and high amount of workload. In countries where working people work more than other places, they often do not have much free time. For example, working people in Hong Kong will usually use their free time to eat out or hangout with their friends or partner. In the subway, they often are on their phones, finishing their work or on a call with their colleagues or clients.
6
band
Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?
Animal testing for scientific reasons is still very common today. For some people, the harm to animals does not justify the experimentation. Others see it as necessary. I believe that this is a very difficult situation but that there are some alternatives that can be used in non-essential industries
4
band
In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
With the growing development of self-driving cars, it has been predicted that other means of transport, namely bus and trucks, will also be driverless. Whilst this may mean more convenience for the passenger, I personally believe that there will be much more dangers if this concept was applied to society.
<4
band
In some countries,owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be case? Do you think this a positive or negative situation?
Owning home has been becoming increasingly recent years. Although i think that it consist of some obivious harmful effct, i strongly beleive that positive of owning house can outweigh the renting home.
6.5
band
Some people believe schoolchildren should help to create rules in their schools. Others say teachers alone should decide what the rules are. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There has been ongoing debate regarding whether students should be allowed to set up rules in schools. While some support that children are capable of deciding regulations properly, others argue that this could be detrimental to their growth. This essay will explore both perspectives and present my personal viewpoint.

Each year, crime committed by young people is on the rise. What are the reasons? Suggest some solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problem as result. Why do many working People not get enough exceise? what can be done about this problem?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries,owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be case? Do you think this a positive or negative situation?

Some people believe schoolchildren should help to create rules in their schools. Others say teachers alone should decide what the rules are. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.