Each year, crime committed by young people is on the rise. What are the reasons? Suggest some solutions.

#year #crime #people #rise

The phenomenon of a rising juvenile delinquency rate is of great concern to society, and both families and society are responsible for that.

Although

it is not easy to solve the problem, there are still several effective steps

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

be imposed. There are various reasons which induce

such

situation

Correct article usage

a situation

show examples

, and two main aspects worth more

concerns

Fix the agreement mistake

concern

show examples

. There is no doubt that

parents

are accountable for that. Owing to the growing life cost,

parents

are busy earning money.

That is

to say, they lack adequate time to supervise their

children

. Without adults' accompany, it is extremely likely that

children

mix with

deruptive

Correct your spelling

disruptive

kids. Another reason is that numerous TV

programms

Correct your spelling

programmes

programs

and computer

games

mislead young people. Because of the

campain

Correct your spelling

campaign

and reward pattern,

children

are highly likely to be addicted to the

games

. Whereas,

children

's obsession with violent computer

games

especiall

Correct your spelling

especially

role-playing

games

, is dangerous for the

games

are a par with the best military technology in

traning

Correct your spelling

training

kids to murder.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

excessive violence in mass media, which

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

aggressive. Teenagers are

ignorance

Replace the word

ignorant

show examples

, immature and

sequatious

Correct your spelling

sequacious

, with the misleading, they easily go astray. To tackle

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the problem,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

efforts from

parents

, schools and

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

are required.

Firstly

, it is of paramount importance that

parents

spend more time with their kids, in the meantime, build a sense of responsibility to their

children

Secondly

, educators should pay more attention to

children

ethic

Fix the agreement mistake

ethics

show examples

and mental health. Since school is not a place just imparting knowledge, it

also

plays a dominant role in

instill

Change the verb form

instilling

show examples

high moral values.

Last

but not least, it is of great urgency for authorities to censor TV

progammes

Correct your spelling

programmes

and computer

games

which are popular with young people,

also

iolence

Correct your spelling

violence

content should be restricted. To conclude, both families and society have asserted adverse

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

on young people.

However

, if

parents

, schools and governments make efforts together, the situation would be addressed to some extent.

Submitted by monicahe0211 on Sun Apr 24 2022

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such as
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

315 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Juvenile delinquency
Deprived
Inadequate
Disenfranchised
Marginalized
Crime prevention
Intervention
Rehabilitation
Youth outreach programs
Parental guidance
Employment opportunities
Community involvement
Counseling
Substance abuse
Criminal justice system

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Each year, crime committed by young people is on the rise. What are the reasons? Suggest some solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that exams are an inappropriate way of measuring student’s performance and should be replaced by continuous assessments. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

Some people believe that purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behavior? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

Children can learn effectively by watching television. Therefore they should be encouraged to watch television both at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?