Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be paid more than entertainment and sports celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?

#doctors #nurses #teachers #contribution #society #entertainment #sports #celebrities

In today’s

society

, it is apparent that celebrities and sports personalities, and others who belong in the entertainment industry are highly paid, while

people

who

work

for the greater good like doctors, nurses, teachers etc. are not highly appreciated financially, but

people

have distinctive views about whether to increase salary for these individuals.

People

working in the entertainment mostly

work

to bring flavour into our lives, while in the meantime, bringing like-minded

people

together, creating diverse social networks in our

society

Moreover

, influential characters would

also

create awareness of social problems in countries, as their opinion might seem more influential in public than that of small organisations,

This

mainly affects trends,

For example

, a celebrity starts using new technologies to build their house ecologically, a multitude of

people

would certainly follow their lead.

On the other hand

, there are

people

working harder to get the same results,

individual

Replace the word

Individuals

show examples

working in the field of medicine, and education, contribute greatly, and directly to the improvement of our

society

, not just doing what they are asked but they usually

work

late hours at night or even have to suddenly come back to

work

in odd hours. The

second

is especially common for the medical staff when late-night emergencies occur.

Nonetheless

Add a comma

,Nonetheless

show examples

their direct benefit to

society

is not usually taken into account, as we just a knowledge them as part of the background,

still

Add a comma

,still

show examples

in the time of the pandemic, teachers and doctors contribute daily to

society

, risking their health and their life for the greater good. To conclude, though celebrities and sports personalities can have some beneficial effects, it is close to none in comparison with the direct meaningful effects that individuals working in the education and medical industry have on

society

Submitted by DanielYU on Mon Apr 25 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

contribution
essential services
long hours
stressful
well-being
development
entertain
inspire
exorbitant salaries
unfair
talented individuals
professions

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
In the future it may be necessary for us to live on other planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now researching planets that could be a possible home, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
For the long time forward, there is a possibility that we need to live on outside the earth. I strongly agree with this naration. The concequence of this issue is, we should start to allocate the budget for conducting the research to find other planet to live with. There are the environmental and financial issues that being a back ground of this topic.
7.5
band
A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research
Some Individuals believe that animals should be treated in the same way humans are and have similar rights, whereas others think that it is more significant to use them as we desire for food and medical research. In this essay, I will Interpret both views and give my opinion.
7
band
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
It is often argued that the expanding number of sports amenities is the most appropriate way to boost public health. While others believe that expanding quantities of sports facilities is not the best solution. This essay will show whether additional sports facilities are really needed or not.
5
band
Millions of people move to English speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answers
It can be clearly seen there a lot of nations move to English-speaking countries such as America also Australia and Britain to study at school as well as college or university .This essay will discuss both sides will draw why is English such an important international language
6
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
Nowadays, more and more people find that learning about the history of their houses and their living areas is an interesting thing. In this passage, we will look at the possible reasons for this phenomenon and explain how people should do to research it.

Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be paid more than entertainment and sports celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In the future it may be necessary for us to live on other planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now researching planets that could be a possible home, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Millions of people move to English speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answers

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?