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These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine,rather than by following a healthy lifestyle Do you agree or disagree

#people #health #doctors #medicine #lifestyle
Undoubtedly,
health
 is a primary concern for many individuals because of the increase in global
health
 crises. Because of
this
, several
people
 are dependent on physicians and medicines for their treatment,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
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however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 these
people
 often compromise their salubrious
lifestyle
 for
this
. In my ,opinion I strongly agree that
people
 are more reliant on
doctors
 rather than on maintaining their physical fitness.
To begin
 with, nowadays
people
 are living a sedentary
lifestyle
 because of work from home which eventually prevents them from being physically active.
This
 type of
lifestyle
 often causes severe
health
 problems since these
people
 are reluctant to work out throughout the day. Supplementary to these activities is the advancement in medical technology that causes
people
 to have more trust in their
doctors
 and the remedial tablets prescribed by them or at home that eventually provide better satisfaction to these
people
.
For example
, a recent survey conducted by an Indian
health
 fitness organization
,
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 found that 80% of the
people
 from India had stopped exercising daily and now are more reliant on
last
 movement remedial techniques after being diagnosed with any
health
 problems. Considering all these activities,
people
 are more inclined towards
doctors
 rather than doing daily physical activity.
In addition
,
people
 nowadays are more indolent as compared to the past.
Such
 individuals are mostly affected by social pressure from their peers. To elucidate more about
this
,
people
 nowadays in cities generally do not prefer any more activity to be added
in
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to
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 their hectic
lifestyle
,
hence
 they persuade the active
people
 for not doing exercise.
Moreover
, with an increase in the corruption found among medical staff, sometimes even
doctors
 misguide potential exercise enthusiastic
people
 to not do physical activity. Eventually causing an increase in cash flow to a private hospital because these
people
 still embarking trust in their
doctors
.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted about private and public hospitals found that mostly 60% per cent of
doctors
 misguide patients so that they visit their hospital more frequently. To conclude, considering the advancement in medical science,
furthermore
 laziness found in
people
 complimented with the malicious activities in hospitals overall contributes to more reliance on
doctors
 as against their personal fitness
Submitted by vedang.parasnis921 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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