IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many people assume that wild animals are useless in the 21st century, so we do not need to protect them. I strongly disagree with the statement for a number of reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
, wildlife may be useless to us but not to the ecosystem it lives in. It is wrong to believe that our entire planet is covered in civilisation.
For example
Linking Words
, places like Antarctica have little or no human life, yet they are home to a vast number of animals, which all help and contribute to keeping their natural environments stable. We cannot be self-centred and assume that everything that does not benefit us is not worth preserving. The destruction of said ecosystem could be absolutely catastrophic for our society as well. Just because we do not see directly the effects that they have on our lives, they do not exist.
For instance
Linking Words
, the Amazon forest produces about a tenth of all the oxygen we breathe. Not protecting and destroying it is an enormous mistake that could cost us dearly in the future. The next century seems quite harsh already, so we must do everything in our hands to help the next generations live on a habitable planet, and preserving wildlife and their habitat is a necessity to accomplish
this
Linking Words
 objective.
To conclude
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, I firmly believe that we should protect all wild animals because,
while
Linking Words
 they may not seem useful to us, they are to their ecosystem, which we
also
Linking Words
 must preserve to shield ourselves from catastrophe in the future.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear and you give your opinion from the start. To get a higher score, add one more direct idea about why saving wild animals is worth money and time.
task response
For task response, your examples are useful, but one example is not fully exact. Be careful with facts, and link the example more clearly to wild animals, not only forests.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, body, and end. This is good. To get higher, make the second body paragraph link more smoothly to the first one.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some lines are a little hard to follow, such as 'Just because we do not see directly the effects that they have on our lives, they do not exist.' This should be 'does not mean they do not exist.' Clear linking will help.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each main point should be developed a bit more with short, clear support.
task response
For task response, you answer the question well and clearly say that you strongly disagree.
task response
For task response, your main ideas stay on topic and are easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the essay is well organized into introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you use linking words like 'To begin', 'For example', 'For instance', and 'To conclude' in a helpful way.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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