IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that protecting wild animals nowadays is useless because they have no importance in 21st-century society.
This
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 essay totally disagrees with that statement. I believe that wild creatures contribute to conserving the balance of biodiversity , and some beasts contribute to keeping the planet safer as well. Ferals eat and consume species, so they participate in the food cycle. If they did not exist, there would be an overpopulation of different species or beasts , which could be dangerous for society.
Furthermore
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, the food cycle starts with vegetables and microorganisms , but it finishes with the consumption of humans.
For example
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, lions usually eat little mammals like zebras.
As a result
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, if we stopped maintaining lions, there would be too many zebras in the ecosystem , which would unbalance the number of creatures in the world and would even disturb human feeding. Some wild animals contribute to the maintenance of the planet , assuming some roles that permit us to still be alive.
Also
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, with the advancement of global change and warming, we are approaching the end of life , but some beasts help conserve the environment.
In particular
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, Wales absorbs carbon dioxide from the atmosphere , eating the rubbish that we throw into the sea.
Therefore
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, there is less carbon dioxide in the atmosphere , so we can breathe better and easier.
To conclude
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, wild animals still have a role in the preservation of biodiversity, the food cycle and the preservation of our planet , so we should still protect them even if it needs a lot of resources.

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task response
Be clear on your view. Say your main idea in the first line and stay with it in each section.
flow
Make the idea flow. Start each paragraph with a short line about the main idea, then add a reason and a small example.
content
Give true and simple examples that fit the point. Avoid wrong facts.
grammar
Check grammar and use small, common words. Watch articles and verb form.
lexical
Use simple, common words only. Do not use hard words you do not know well.
content
You show a clear view that you do not agree with the idea.
content
You use the idea of the food chain and how nature can help the planet.
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