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Band 6.5

Nowadays, some people believe that fashion is very important for youngsters and it has negative impact on the people and society. Do you agree or disagree with statement?

#people #fashion #youngsters #impact #society
It is often argued that
fashion
 is crucial for youngsters and it has
negative
Add an article
a negative
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 influence on the
people
 and community. I completely agree with
this
 notion because it will lead to
poor
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the poor
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 academic performance of
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation and leads to wastage of
money
.
First
 of all,
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an increasing number of young
people
 are indulged in
fashion
it
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apply
show examples
leads to poor academic performance.
This
 is because youngsters are more
focussed
Correct your spelling
focused
show examples
 on looking good rather than spending
time
 on course books.
This
 could be due to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 influence of media and peers, which leads to a distraction among
young
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the young
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 generation.
As a result
, their grades fall significantly and it affects their future prospects.
For instance
,
students
 who spend more
time
on
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apply
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reading
fashion
mazagines
Correct your spelling
magazines
 will attain low grades in comparison to those who invest their
time
on
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in
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 studying academic subjects. Another reason to consider is that youngsters splurge
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 amount of
money
 on
tendy
Correct your spelling
trendy
 attires. To elaborate, these days everyone wants to look good due to
a
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apply
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social esteem . So young
people
 push their
parents
 to buy them branded clothes
of
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by
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 Chanel
,
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apply
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 and Gucci.
Consequently
,
parents
 have to bear
the
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apply
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financial hardship to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 the unjustifiable desires of their children.
For example
, a recent study concluded that if
students
 will cut down on fashionable goods it could help their
parents
 to pay a quarter of their student loan debts.
Thus
, not wasting
money
 on branded items can save the
parents
money
 from
students
 loans. In conclusion, due to increasing trends of
fashion
 among young
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
leads to
myriad
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a myriad
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 of drawbacks to the community and
people
. Not only does it waste the invaluable
time
 of
students
, but it
also
make
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makes
show examples
parents
to
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apply
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spend exorbitant
money
 which they could use for their future education.
Submitted by drvishal13 on

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