IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people say that advanced technology can prevent most crimes. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #technology #crimes
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In
Recent
Fix capitalization
recent
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 times, both
technology
Use synonyms
 and crimes
are being rising
Change the verb form
are being risen
are rising
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 at a high speed. It is evident from the growth in crime rate and new inventions in
techonologies
Correct your spelling
technologies
. Though
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology
Use synonyms
 is advancing day by day it has nothing to do with controlling illegal activities. In
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will discuss both
pro's
Change noun form
pros
show examples
 and
con's
Change noun form
cons
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 to support my opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Most of the crimes occur physically
which
Correct word choice
and
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 nothing to do
virtual
Change preposition
with virtual
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 things.
For instance
Linking Words
, at many gatherings, people with different opinions quarrel and in some cases it leads to murders. in
this
Linking Words
case
Add a comma
,case
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 the role of
technology
Use synonyms
 to control the violence is null.
Similarly
Linking Words
, when people are drunk they sexually assault women and expose them to physical violence to a great extent. Here the mindset after drinking has the sole responsibility
in
Change preposition
for
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commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
 the illegal things.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, in some cases
technology
Use synonyms
 can be used to track or trace the location of the victim but it would be helpful only when the policemen reach the spot before the crime occurs. In many cases, tracking the location and reaching there would be a time-consuming process. To sum it up, the physical
voilence
Correct your spelling
violence
 and crime
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 very little or nothing to do with advancement in
technology
Use synonyms
 as most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the crimes happen when people are physically together.
Submitted by arepallyvamshika on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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