IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Your local council is considering closing the sports and leisure centre that it runs, in order to save money. Write a letter to the local council. In your letter give details of •how you and your friends or family use the centre. •Explain why the sports and leisure centre is important for the local community. •Describe the possible effects on local people if the centre close.

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to let you know about my feedback regarding your grant for a children's sports team or musical events. On the one hand, If a sports team is granted for two years,
this
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 will help the youngster to purchase state-of-the-art tools Ultimately they will not only indulge themselves in physical activities but
also
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 deter themselves from evils like drugs and gangs which will improve their physical and mental well-being.
On the other hand
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, the community will enjoy the cultural events provided someone sponsors them as not everybody can afford to arrange these programmes.
First,
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this
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 will enable the society to socialise with each other because these days people are very busy in their lives.
Then
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, they can unwind their mind and connect with culture which
otherwise
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 is not possible
due to
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 the professional workloads. From my perspective, investing in minor sports teams endures for a long since it will enable them to get rid of financial concerns and foster their sporting skills. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Haris Khan

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your letter directly addresses the specific request or topic provided. The letter seems to discuss a different topic than what was asked. Focus on the topic given to achieve a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your ideas more clearly by starting with an introduction that directly addresses the prompt, followed by body paragraphs each dedicated to a specific aspect of the prompt, and a conclusion. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively to organize your ideas. Each paragraph should deal with one main idea. This helps the reader to understand your points more easily.
Task Achievement
Adopt a letter writing format suitable for formal correspondence, including appropriate greetings and sign-offs. Your letter has a suitable closing, but ensure all aspects of format are consistently formal.
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