IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #advertisements #products #lives #support
Some people generally believe that
advertisements
 are conducive to providing information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 a new arrival to the public; while others consider advertising to be a medium that motivates us to buy something we actually do not need.
For me
Change preposition
Me
show examples
, I agree with the latter
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
I am going to explain my viewpoints in the following paragraphs. The benefits of
advertisements
 have a great influence on human beings. They not only induce publicity to quickly gain the latest information about commodities
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 offer diversified options to us.
For instance
, if we yearn for sports equipment with which we can work out at home,
such
 as treadmills, dumbbells, and so on,
advertisements
 about sports are likely to play a crucial role in helping us to choose the suitable one to exercise and assisting us to decide which could not cost an arm and a leg.
However
, in my perspective, I think the advertising sometimes gives fake details
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 products to deceive us;
therefore
, I am opposed to completely viewing
advertisements
 about new products as a useful reference to better our
lives
.
On the other hand
, some individuals put emphasis on the
advertisements
 that motivate us to be in a vicious circle of overconsumption. Due to the fact that increasing numbers of people are in the pursuit of fashion, we usually do not truly realize the difference
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
 whether the goods are useful or not. Take me
for example
, as soon as several
advertisements
 with information regarding mobile phones are shown on websites, I am usually impulsive to replace my outdated cell phone with a brand-new one.
Hence
, I agree with the idea that advertising has a negative impact on our
lives
 that we probably purchase something impractical. The effects of
advertisements
 are double-edged.
Although
 they are beneficial to improving our
lives
, they stimulate us to overspend on anything. All in all, I firmly think that
advertisements
 about new products glutted with our
lives
 encourage us to buy something we do not need in fact.
Submitted by a59618690 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: