some people believe that in order to reduce the rising obesity among children the school administration should make it necessary for every child to participate in sports and other outdoor activities. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #obesity #children #school #administration #child #sports #activities

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It is debatable whether

school

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authorities should encourage children to take part in

sports

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and outdoor

activities

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to eradicate the increasing overweight issue. I firmly agree that educational institutions should implement

this

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approach because it can instil a good

lifestyle

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in them. Arguably, there are multifarious reasons why people are in favour of making

sports

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and outdoor

activities

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mandatory by the

school

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authorities. Primarily, if

such

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an approach can be followed, children will never get a chance to avoid

sports

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activities

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For example

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, The Guardian Newspaper conducted meticulous research in March 2022 and stated that in 6 out of 10 cases of overweight issue in

students

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was

due to

Linking Words

the absence of specific time for their body movements at both homes and schools. Owing to

this

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, after adopting

this

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trend,

students

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can burn some extra calories and ultimately

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

curb the fat-enhancing factors.

In addition

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, physical education teachers cannot only help to identify the appropriate game for them, but they can

also

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assist in selecting a healthy diet related to a reduction of extra fat for better endurance.

Furthermore

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such

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a minute change can bring numerous other weight-reducing benefits in pupils’ lives and predominantly, they can adopt a healthy

lifestyle

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for their whole life. To elucidate, when

sports

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are unavoidable at

school

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and their impact will be shown on the final mark sheet,

students

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will try to maintain a high spirit to perform well and they may attain

this

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by adopting a disciplined

lifestyle

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For instance

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, as per the annual report of

last

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year by the World Health Organisation, 55% of

school

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players had been observing tremendous change in their sedentary

lifestyle

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as well as

Linking Words

lipid reduction since their institutions caused them to take part in

sports

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Hence

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this

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phenomenon can be a good method for fat trimming.

To conclude

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, I agree with

this

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phenomenon that by making

sports

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and outdoor

activities

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unavoidable for

students

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this

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change can be the best method for adipose tissue reduction by ensuring a distinctive

lifestyle

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Submitted by Mrjit147 on Wed Sep 04 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea clearly linked back to your thesis. Avoid overloading sentences with too many concepts.

task achievement

Provide a more detailed explanation of your examples and how exactly they reinforce your points, making sure they're directly tied to the thesis.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear introduction that states the writer's position firmly.

supported main points

The examples used are relevant and help illustrate the points being made.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and reiterates the writer's stance.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

331 words

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some people believe that in order to reduce the rising obesity among children the school administration should make it necessary for every child to participate in sports and other outdoor activities. Do you agree or disagree?

Governments should spend money on railways than roads. To what to extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays children mostly spend time playing computer games rather than sports. Is it positive or negative development?

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that in our modern age because of advancement in digital technology it is no longer necessary for people to learn handwriting skills, but others believe handwriting is still an important skill. Discuss these views and state you opinion.