IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#improvements #today’s #health #care #society #people #numbers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The ageing population is a big issue in some countries, especially in developed countries. Despite the development in the healthcare sector, I think it is hard for them to deal with
this
Linking Words
 problem.
This
Linking Words
 essay will outline some reasons and some solutions that need to apply to address it as well. On the one hand, a creasing number of older people in a
society
Use synonyms
 can cause a burden on the community. The elderly require more medications and hospitalizations in everyday life because their health state often gets worse.
For example
Linking Words
, the need for health care in older groups is always higher than the younger ones.
Moreover
Linking Words
, labour force shortages in an ageing
society
Use synonyms
 are the result of
this
Linking Words
.
This
Linking Words
 leads to a shrinking in social production and has many negative impacts in return.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue, there are many solutions. One solution is that the government needs to encourage and reward the group of people who participate in more social activities to reduce the risks of diseases.
For instance
Linking Words
, my local authorities organise many clubs for the older people.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 not only helps boost their active mode but
also
Linking Words
 helps them feel they are useful in
society
Use synonyms
. Another solution is that government should spend more budget for the caregiving sector that supports building more facilities for the older ones.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 would meet the demand of emergency when patients need it. In conclusion, there are many improvements in helping and treating the increasing elderly in our
society
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 the government has more attention to areas with a fast pace of increase, I still feel that we just could solve the problem partially.
Submitted by minhptq on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: