Shopping is the favourite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful acitivities?

It is commonly believed by certain young individuals that shopping is a popular and welcomed approach to cost
time
.
Admittely
Correct your spelling
Admittedly
, it is an efficient and useful method.
Furthermore
, I think
younger
Add an article
a younger
the younger
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
should try some
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
types of activities. I will discuss the reasons and give my
Correct your spelling
advice
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
below. Nowadays,
younger
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a younger
the younger
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
are undertaking too much pressure, from companies, family, friends and society, and they
are hardly have
Change the verb form
hardly have
show examples
extra
time
to relax because most of them work overtime in order to excel in their area. They prefer a relaxing, without stressful leisure approach,
as a result
, shopping
come
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comes
show examples
into their sight.
For example
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
youth
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the youth
show examples
will invite their friends to have a great lunch before shopping and will stop to enjoy a tea when they
tired
Add a missing verb
are tired
show examples
of purchasing products,
then
they may chat
interesting
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about interesting
show examples
things and complain
some
Change preposition
about some
show examples
terrible and
astonished
Replace the word
astonishing
show examples
things that happened during the workdays, which provide a method for them to release negative emotion.
Moreover
, shopping does not always means
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
money
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some just enjoy window-shopping and
chat
Wrong verb form
chatting
show examples
with their friends. As far as I concern, young
people
can
also
try different kinds of activities
such
as sports and
read
Wrong verb form
reading
show examples
instead
of shopping, which can both enhance their physical and
psylogical
Correct your spelling
psychological
.
For example
,
yound
Correct your spelling
young
people
may easily
feeling
Change the verb form
feel
be feeling
show examples
tired due to lack of exercise, so they may take part in various kinds of exercise courses which can cause
harmone
Correct your spelling
hormone
and make
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
at the same
time
.
Besides
, young
people
,
especailly
Correct your spelling
especially
those
people
who want to achieve a higher step in their career can choose to read professional books or register
relevant
Change preposition
for relevant
show examples
courses during spare
time
, which is not only benefit their ability but
also
give
a
Correct pronoun usage
them a
show examples
chance to discover
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
linguistic. As above aforementioned, it is no harmful consequence for shopping during their leisure
time
, because
third
-industry is widely recognized as an important and
protential
Correct your spelling
potential
economic development tendency at present moment and future.
However
, we should encourage youths to try more
apporaches
Correct your spelling
approaches
to relax,
instead
of shopping as the solemn
methods
Fix the agreement mistake
method
show examples
.
Submitted by lijialisally on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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