Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that employers should make
rules
for the dressing of employees or they are free to choose their Use synonyms
clothes
and employers should focus on their efficiency. In my opinion, Use synonyms
although
people are free to choose their Linking Words
clothes
, in the official environment should Use synonyms
be existed
cloth law.
Wrong verb form
exist
Firstly
, some individuals believe that they are the only one who makes decisions about their Linking Words
clothes
. Use synonyms
This
opinion is Linking Words
due to
the fact that they believe choosing the garment is a private decision, so individuals can decide on their dress in each situation, and the Linking Words
workplace
is one of these. Use synonyms
Hence
, employers should not disrupt their privacy by generating Linking Words
rules
for their Use synonyms
clothes
. Use synonyms
In addition
, they encourage the freedom of human in their livesLinking Words
,
and selecting work Remove the comma
apply
clothes
is one of them. It means that humans are much more intelligent in selecting their suitable Use synonyms
clothes
for each place ,Use synonyms
while
findings show that people tend to behave in order to their ambitions Linking Words
instead
of considering the group beneficial, so in my perspective, considering the Linking Words
workplace
as a big group, there should be specific Use synonyms
rules
to preserve irregularities.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, the office is a formal place. Linking Words
Due to
the fact that the organizations need an official environment, it is important to make Linking Words
rules
for each contributing Use synonyms
elements
. Fix the agreement mistake
element
Therefore
, employees as an important part of the organization should obey the related Linking Words
rules
including the type of Use synonyms
clothes
laws. Meanwhile, personnel should dress formally in their Use synonyms
workplace
to reduce capturing other colleague' attention and concentrate on their performance. In my opinion, establishing Use synonyms
rules
for dressing in the Use synonyms
workplace
not only will create an array but Use synonyms
also
improve workers` functionality.
In conclusion, Linking Words
although
choosing the dress is a private decision, I believe that organizations should have specific Linking Words
rules
for dressing workers to enhance both their efficiency and organizational array.Use synonyms
Submitted by n.fallahi327 on
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relevant specific examples
Although your essay covers both sides of the argument, try to provide more specific examples or case studies to enhance the strength of your main points. Specific examples make your argument more convincing and relatable.
clear comprehensive ideas
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. There were a few minor errors that slightly detract from the overall readability. For example, phrases like 'should be existed cloth law' should be revised to 'there should be a dress code.'
introduction conclusion present
You have presented a clear introduction that outlines the main argument and concluded effectively, summarizing your stance on the issue. This is a strong point in terms of structuring your essay.
logical structure
The essay maintains a logical structure, with each paragraph addressing a specific aspect of the argument. This enhances the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example