Children nowadays watch significantly more television than those in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activüy among children? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In today's fast-moving life technology has been proven to be a blessing but it has some disadvantages

also

Linking Words

. It is seen that nowadays

children

Use synonyms

spend longer hours watching television rather than playing outdoors. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will shed light on the reasons behind the

problem

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

suggest some appropriate solutions to the

problem

Use synonyms

. First of all, one of the major causes of increasing screen time is a hectic lifestyle. Parents are busy with their jobs and they are unable to pay adequate attention to the activities their child is doing in his leisure time.

For instance

Linking Words

, both parents are working they return to the house after a long day and want to rest

as a result

Linking Words

they allow their child to play on their mobile phone so that they can have a nap.

Secondly

Linking Words

, there are many new video games in the market which

children

Use synonyms

love to play resulting in increased screen

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, migration to cities into small houses without proper playing space has made

children

Use synonyms

to be engaged in indoor activities only.

However

Linking Words

, to tackle

this

Linking Words

problem

Use synonyms

as it has many adverse effects on the health of

children

Use synonyms

; parents need to balance their personal and professional lives.

Also

Linking Words

, they should make rules

such

Linking Words

as no phones on

dining

Add an article

the dining

show examples

table and should allow

children

Use synonyms

to use screens for a certain amount of time only.

To conclude

Linking Words

, it is evident that

children

Use synonyms

nowadays prefer staying indoors and have become 'couch potatoes' but joint efforts can help to mitigate the

problem

Use synonyms

snoberdeep97Sat Mar 22 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Consider adding more detail to your examples to enhance clarity and comprehensiveness. For instance, when discussing how busy parents lead to increased screen time, you could elaborate on the implications this has for children's health or development.

coherence

Ensure that your paragraphs have clear topic sentences that outline the main point you will discuss in that paragraph to strengthen coherence.

coherence

Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., linking words and phrases) to help improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

structure

The essay is clearly structured with an introduction, several body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is a great foundation for coherence and cohesion.

content

You have identified relevant factors contributing to children's increased screen time, which is a positive aspect of your task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

253 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary
screen time
physical activity
childhood obesity
social interactions
leisure activities
engagement
community programs
active lifestyle
digital devices
organized sports
outdoor play
parenting norms
safety concerns
health benefits

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people think that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience instead. Discuss both sides and give your opinion
Education continues to be a controversial topic in the world of work. Some individuals believe that acquiring a good job can be warranted by first completing a university education. Whereas, others think that going straight to work and obtaining experience is better. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I will consider now.
6.5
band
In some countries, people prefer to rent a house than buy one. What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a property?
In the modern era, anything can be rented such as houses, cars and bikes. Similarly, this is becoming common in most countries to rent a place to live rather than purchase a property. However, there are certain pros and cons of this situation that I will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs.
7
band
Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Several individuals suggest that young generations ought to have a full-time education until they reach the age of 18. I personally view this suggestion as the best proposal, as it is also readily a norm in several countries. This essay will provide some arguments to back this idea.
6.5
band
Students in university should be specialized in one subject rather than to develop a wider range of knowledge in many different subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is ongoing debate regarding whether students at school should concentrate on a single subject instead of various ones. This essay will explore both perspectives presenting the points of agreement and disagreement, and offer a balanced viewpoint.
6.5
band
It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is often held that teachers, peers and the media have a significant influence on the life of children. While some people argue that these factors are predominant in shaping a child's future, others believe that parents impact their offspring in more critical ways. This essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favour of the latter.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience instead. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

In some countries, people prefer to rent a house than buy one. What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a property?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Students in university should be specialized in one subject rather than to develop a wider range of knowledge in many different subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.