Some people say that technologies such as mobile phones are disrupting social interaction. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #technologies #phones #interaction

Undoubtedly, mobile phones have become a necessity rather than a luxury. Certain sections of society believe that modern

technologies

like cell phones are having a detrimental impact on their users by dramatically affecting their social life. In my opinion, I strongly agree with

this

notion because of the following reasons mentioned in the forthcoming paragraphs supported with examples.

Firstly

, these

technologies

are extremely addictive, which not only prevents their users from losing self-confidence

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

affects their overall mental health. To explain more about

this

people

generally use cellphone for most of the time, while using these

technologies

they are soo engrossed that they are mentally detached from the external world.

In addition

, extensive use can eventually cause mental disorders like depression and social anxiety.

For example

, a recent survey conducted by the medical school of London, considered a sample of 100

people

, where 90 of them were given a task to use Instagram (a social media app) , while others were asked to read books. It was found that these 90 folks were more reticent to the public when asked questions about general life,

on the other hand

remaining were more cooperative with

people

when they were interviewed with the same questions.

Secondly

people

are preferring more virtual friends as compared

Change preposition

than

show examples

real humans.

To begin

with, nowadays Facebook is a quite popular app, and

people

often connect with others using

this

application. Users have a proclivity to connect and chat with

people

whom they have never met in their life.

Moreover

, in some ,countries

people

compete with each other to have more friends on these social media applications. As a consequence,

people

are estranged from the world where they reside causing a bonding gap with the physical world.

For example

,in a recent survey carried out by a group of psychologists in India, on average,

people

in India have approximately 500 friends on Facebook, out of which they personally know only 50.

Furthermore

, it was found that these individuals seldom meet new

people

on several occasions and prefer a more isolated lifestyle. To conclude, these advanced

technologies

have not only damaged humans' social interaction abilities, but

also

it is causing them to be estranged from society, thereby inviting several mental problems.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

372 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that technologies such as mobile phones are disrupting social interaction. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but other people claim that it is the individual’s responsibility. Discuss both the views and give your opinion?

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more children are accessing the Internet unsupervised. This can sometimes put them at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the Internet? How can this problem be solved?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disanvantages of giving children this message?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.