IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#scientists #tourists #travel #environments #pole #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent decades, adventures over long distances are available (accessible) for inventors and visitors.
Although
 travel to remote
areas
 has many benefits,
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
 involved are
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
 to be discussed.
To begin
 with, it may appear that it proves beneficial. The
first
 important reason is concerned with
find
Change the form of the verb
finding
show examples
 out new resources and knowledge for
consume
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 and use in
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
aimed to reach brilliant achievements. It means,
accessing
Correct word choice
that accessing
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new natural environments help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
researcher progress in their field and resolve many problems.
For instance
, today with
develop
Replace the word
developments
show examples
 in technology many scientists from all over the world have
accessed
Change the form of the verb
access
show examples
 to new
areas
 and development in various fields,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 sciences and
also
 there are a number of far
destination
Fix the agreement mistake
destinations
show examples
such
 as
North
Correct article usage
the North
show examples
 and South poles that attract many people from all over the
word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
 every year. Having said that,
however
, the
Correct your spelling
downside
show examples
down side
Correct your spelling
downside
show examples
 of travelling to distant regions should not be underestimated. Attending visitors
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the nature has a negative impact on various aspects of
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. One of the main negative
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 can be causing pollution in the environment. An obvious example of
this
 situation is that every year, many lands and sea creatures were harmed by
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
 rubbish and waste that were
leaved
Correct your spelling
left
show examples
 in the environment and
damage
Wrong verb form
damaged
show examples
 their habitats. Another evident demerits side is
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 costs of travelling in remote
areas
 and
also
 it has many difficulties
along
Add the preposition
withalong
show examples
 the far ways and endangers people’s life as well. On balance, going to distant natural
areas
 would be both rewarding and problematic. While it may lead to significant discoveries and dramatic progress. Researchers and
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 are highly likely to suffer from financial and travel difficulties as well as provide environmental pollution.
Submitted by daniel.galexy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: