You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter - Give details of your studies Explain why you want to get a part-time job Suggest how you friend could helo you find a job

#country #study #job #friend #lives #help #studies #helo

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Dear Dhruvi, I hope that you are doing well and enjoying your studies in Human Resources. I am writing regarding a part-time opportunity which I would like to get

while

Linking Words

I'm studying in Toronto.

Firstly

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, you that how much I enjoy learning mechanical engineering,

therefore

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I enrolled in the master's degree of it in the University of Toronto Downtown campus in the fall semester of

this

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year.

Although

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

my coursework in

this

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program will be intensive still I must work a part-time job during my studies to pay for my rent, groceries, and other essentials.

Besides

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that, I think that

this

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will

also

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help me to improve my English communication skills as well.

Therefore

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, it would be beneficial for me if you could provide me with any leads or contacts of employers directly which will help me get started to apply for the part-time job. Thank you and see you soon in August. Warm regards, Ruchin Patel

Submitted by ruchin27 on Sat Jan 04 2025

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task achievement

Although your request for job leads is clear, adding more specific details on the kind of job you're looking for could strengthen your task achievement score.

coherence cohesion

Regarding coherence and cohesion, further ensuring a smooth flow between your reasons for wanting a part-time job and how your friend can assist would improve logical structure.

task achievement

Your letter effectively explains why you want a part-time job and how your friend can assist, meeting the requirements of the task.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing are well-handled, establishing a friendly and formal tone appropriate for a letter to a friend.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

157 words

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their work place at home, when traveling. Do the bed benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

An increasing number of professional such as doctor and teacher are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. what problem does this cause and what are the solutions?

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with others people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?